Hi fellow Geeks, ready to experience the aftermath of last week’s Purple Wedding? This episode opens up immediately after Joffrey’s death, with Cersei prostrate over his body and Tyrion standing accused. Like seriously, seriously, in deep shit accused. As we’re left to ponder this, Sansa and Ser Dontos waste no time escaping the city, snaking through the labyrinthine streets of King’s Landing despite Tywin’s declaration that no one is to leave the capital. When they finally make it to the water, the evening mist nearly disguises the kind of murder ghost ship better suited for a future Pirates of the Caribbean movie set in hell. There’s a moment of shadowy suspense as Sansa waits to see who the faceless figure welcoming her onto the ship is, and once we know it all starts to make sense—Littlefinger. Petyr Baelish has been conspicuously absent, and he makes a dramatic return with his orchestration of Sansa Stark’s escape from the Lannister clutches. However, our relief is tempered by shock as he immediately kills Ser Dontos, leaving his body to float in a dinghy in the middle of Blackwater Bay. It’s a super undignified way to go—yet perhaps apt for a literal fool?
Hi guys, are you ready to discuss this week’s Game of Thrones? I hear something crazy happened…
This episode begins with what seems like a lovely frolic through the green Northern woods. At first I thought it was children frolicking, but upon closer inspection it’s Ramsay Snow, some hounds, and two girls. There is someone else tagging along too, someone called “Reek.” This obviously does not bode well, as The Bastard of Bolton is a legit sociopath that favors torture infused with heavy-handed metaphors. It could be said that you should never accept a gift from Ramsay Snow. If his “gifts” are so terrifying, please spare me from his vengeance, thanks.