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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 8

Novembeard is charging relentlessly on, much like the messy, unkempt, wild, bushy facial hair of a rail-riding hobo. As we’ve been examing some of the finer face jungles of various pop culture characters, we’ve also stopped to admire some highly impressive mustaches being kept by folks as well. Today we’re dedicating this post to another gold-standard mustache: the soup strainer worn by none other than Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello.

No, no, no, not me. You’re looking for EUGENE Hutz. But for $99.99 I’ll legally change my name and grow whatever facial hair you want me to.

Ahhhh…much better. That’s the soup strainer we’re looking for.

Seriously, look at that thing. It’s like Burt Reynolds, the Pringles Guy, and a can of AquaNet all had a big hairy baby. It is a literal facial forrest of follicular frenzy. If you’re not familiar with Eugene or Gogol Bordello, I suggest you get yourself to your nearest device with iTunes access to check out these Gypsy punk rockers or more importantly, get to your local concert venue the next time the band blows through your town as their live show is absolutely not to be missed. A Gogol show is usually a high energy affair from the moment they take the stage right up through the very last song of the last encore, not only on behalf of the band, but for the audience as well. Their songs are infectiously catchy, so chances are by the end of the night you’re guaranteed to be hopping up and down with everyone else in attendance. Their music is a unique mix of sounds from all over the world: old time gypsy music, punk, Brazillian, rap, etc. If there’s a genere of music to be listened to out there, it’s probably lumped into at least one Gogol Bordello song.

Enough about the music, talk about the mustache already!!!

As incredible as the music is, let’s not let it sell short that stache. It is simply immaculate, nary a strand out of place. Not only is it a full on Cop-Stache in the middle, but the ends are tweaked into razo sharp perfection. By the end of a typical Gogol show, Hutz has already emitted enough buckets of sweat to wear away the mustache wax so it’s no longer so finely shaped and just fraying out everywhere, but that just means that it cant be contained even by the awesome power of Gogol’s sound. Few men on the planet could ever or WOULD ever dare to grow such a powerful stache. I think this does a fine job of describing how badass Eugenes mustache is:

Well done sir. Well done indeed. That’s why Eugene Hutz has earned his spot among The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks Novembeard honorees.

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 4

We’re steadily marching through the month on Novembeard and while the month is dedicated to the mighty beard, I thought we’d take a break today to honor the beard’s cousin from the North, the mustache. Sure, these days they’re mainly sported by cops and gay porn stars, but a good, sturdy, Selleck-like mustache can rival even the mightiest of beards on the facial field of battle. In fact, sometimes the very presence of a mustache can be so powerful, that is offers us peek through a window into another dimension. One such power-stache would be the one sported by Senior Justicia a.k.a. Mustache Marshall from How I Met Your Mother.

That my friends, es un mustache muy, muy guapo.

In case you’re not a regular viewer of How I Met Your Mother, Marshall and his wife Lily had a deal to hold off on having children until they had seen the exact doppelganger of each member of their group of friends, their reasoning being that once they have seen the exact duplicates of all thier close friends, that would be the universes way of telling them that they were ready for parenthood. Some of the other dopplegangers that they’ve seen are Lesbian Robin, Stripper Lily, and Mexican Wrestler Ted. They’ve also seen several dopplegangers for Neil Patrick Harris’ Barney, but each one of them has actually just been Barney wearing a disguise while trying to get laid. Senior Justicia was the dead ringer for Marshall. Like Marshall, he was also lawyer, however where as Marshall was an environmental lawyer, Senior Justicia was a sleazy, mustache weraing, ambulance chaser, advertising on the sides of buses, who wears a cheap suit and only speaks spanish. He was basically Bizzarro Marshall. He was almost the same guy, but throw in the mustache and you’ve got a whole new man. That is one powerful mustache, that’s why we’re deidcating November 4th as El Dia de El Senior Justicia!

All the best lawyers can be found with their faces strattling the ass of a bus.

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.
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