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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 22

Traditionally in America today is a day in which you give thanks. I am thankful for Star Wars, I always have been and I always will be. We thought it would be right on Thanksgiving to honor a self made American with a self made beard.

Mr. Lucas has been all over the news lately so what better time to honor his seemingly distinguished facial hair? Oddly enough his beard history runs parallel to his movie making career. What started as a very promising beard ended up peaking early on. In later years it began to dwindle, becoming more and more chin fat than actual facial hair.

I actually think that in the late 70s/early 80s Lucas and Speilberg were having a beard competition. Not only were their movies going head to head but so were their whiskers. I know it was the style of the time but I happen to believe for no good reason despite their friendship they had an intense rivalry about everything. What car they drove, what women they bedded, how many movies they could make with Harrison Ford etc. But what more manly way can you ask for than to have a one on one beard growing competition amongst two of the nerdiest men in America?

Now that Lucas can effectively “retire” and no longer damage the movies that we all love, perhaps we well see his beard return to its former glory…

Only time will tell.

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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 21

Today’s Novembeard features one of the most badass beards in all of geekdom, a beard fitting of the Dothraki warlord Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones.

Holy pectorals, Batman.

According to the Dothraki way, a warrior’s hair is chopped off when they’re defeated in battle. Drogo, being the biggest pimpdaddy of them all, has the longest hair. If only the Dothraki beards worked the same way.

Who knew a ponytail could be so manly?

The beard itself is pretty sweet, decorated with gold baubles as befits a Khal. It certainly adds to the badass look, though as we all know, Drogo is a softy at heart. I have yet to meet a female Game of Thrones fan that doesn’t swoon every time he calls Dany “moon of my life.” You know, once you get past the forced marriage and the rape. They are still my favorite couple of the series, but I’m a sucker for tragic romances.

I’m not crying…it’s just raining on my face.

I’m going to learn Dothraki now, in memory of Khal Drogo and his epic beard. I’m pretty sure there’s just a lot of screaming and grunting involved, right? I’ll even ride a horse to make it more authentic.

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30 Days Hath Novembeard- Day 20

As you saw back on day 14 of Novembeard, wizard beards are quite the trend amongst elderly mentor-figures. Following in the footsteps of Gandalf the Grey, Albus Dumbledore sports yet another iconic beard.

We got a badass over here.

Fortunately for us (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), we get two different Dumbledores throughout the Harry Potter saga. The late, great Richard Harris played him for the first two movies, then Michael Gambon took over the role. This gives Dumbledore two unique beard-styles. Harris’s beard is classic wizard, while Gambon’s adds a little pizzazz to the look.


Gambon’s Dumbledore is certainly a bit more eccentric than Harris’s, but he got some sweet dueling scenes with Voldemort and effectively made me sob at the end of Half-Blood Prince. In flashbacks we saw Dumbledore rocking a younger version of the wizard beard.

He looks like a hippie turned…well, turned Hogwarts Headmaster.

I like the look of movie-Dumbledore’s beard. In the chapter illustrations for the books, he had more of a Santa beard, which just doesn’t fit such an awesome and powerful wizard as Dumbles.

Ho ho ho.

So here’s to you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Your beard is a thing of beauty.

Alas! Ear wax!


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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 19

I was too young to have seen the original Star Wars films in the theater. Likewise, while I had many of the original action figures, they were inherited from my older brothers. The assortment of hand-me-down toys included just about all of the principal characters (my Han was in Hoth duds, but I was okay with that), a few storm troopers, a handful of assorted aliens, and this  indifferent  man with a beard…

The General

Look how steep the slope of his hair is!

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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 18

Today’s article is about GI Joe. Now before you get excited, it’s not about the critically acclaimed film, it’s about the line of toys. And it’s not about the tiny little figures who fought Cobra, it’s about the Barbie-sized soldiers who fought Communism. I was recently at a local comic convention and I happened upon an old-school GI Joe. I could not help but notice is life-like hair and beard.

It’s a fantastic little bit of facial hair, but it always seemed a bit wrong to me. GI Joe looks like a no-good longhair peacenik, for Pete’s sake.

But what really stood out to me was the unnerving look on his face… he had seen some shit in ‘Nam. He had seen some shit that he couldn’t unsee. It kind of creeped me out to imagine GI Joe in this situation. And the closer I got to his shell-shocked eyes, the worse I felt for this tortured soul.

Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million-dollar equipment. Back here I can’t even hold a job parking cars!!

I kind of hope that they take a look at the psychological toll that war takes on it’s soldiers in the new GI Joe movie… maybe they’ll show a younger generation that no one walks away without wounds. But then I remember the trailer, and think about how fucking awesome it’ll be to see a swordfight on a mountainside and watch Bruce Willis shoot up some Cobra Crimson Guard. Maybe save the poignant mirror-on-society story for part 3 ?

Seriously, though… although the first movie was honestly about the worst motion picture I’ve ever seen, I genuinely look forward to GI Joe 2. Whoever edited that trailer should win an Oscar.

And we’ll all go down together, Geeks.

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30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 17

Novembeard continues! On Day 9, we brought you our first intergalactic beard with the all powerful General Zod. Today the Geeks bring you our first inter species beard with the Michael J. Fox classic, Teen Wolf.

In what universe would this hilariously grotesque creature becomes the coolest guy in High School? The only universe I would want to live in! Besides, he’s pretty much Marty McFly anyway. He’s a basketball star who can shotgun beers with ease thanks to his fangs. What more could a teenager ask for? It’s the 80’s after all, not the brooding emo MTV version.

I am very thankful for two things. That the werewolf gene did not skip a generation and we get to see Teen Wolf’s dad who would have no problem filling in for The Grateful Dead after Jerry Garcia died.

The other is that the movie gave birth to one of the greatest shirts I’ve ever seen:

Check in tomorrow geeks as Novembeard continues!

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