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Author Archives: Undies Of Wondy

The CW’s ‘Riverdale’ Has a Slutty Twin Peaks Aesthetic and is My Problematic New Fave

Back when I was younger, when I was dragged to the supermarket with my mother and grandmother, occasionally I was treated to an Archie digest. I practically consumed them, and looked forward to seeing what sandwiches Jughead was eating these days, watched Betty and Veronica vie for Archie’s affections, mentally facepalmed over whatever stupid crap Moose and Reggie were up to, and so on. Archie Comics hold a special part in my heart, as they were some of the first comics I’d ever gotten my hands on. My love for Archie went from there to listening to ‘Sugar, Sugar’ on repeat, to watching this VHS tape repeatedly.

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Which, oddly enough, seems to me like they got the basis for ‘Riverdale’, in the first place. (I’ll have to revisit it and let everyone know!)

But seriously, who would have thought Archie, Jughead and the gang would make for a hot teen drama?

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Full disclosure, I am a sucker for trashy TV. Reality shows, yes. Dramas, you betcha. Teen Dramas? You have my complete attention there. This summer I binged the entire 90210 reboot on Netflix. I signed the petition to #BringBackNashville. And here I am, fully onboard for the Riverdale TV show, something I’d been looking forward to for months now. Even more so, since ‘Stranger Things’ cast member Shannon Purser (aka KWEEN BARB) signed on to play Ethel Muggs. (I swear on all that is holy, CW, if you kill her on this show, you will have to answer to ME.)

I’ll be the first to say that Riverdale, as a premise for a show, is utterly ridiculous. It is the raunchy, gritty, Archie we never needed. The writing is subpar at best, and the slutty Twin Peaks’ aesthetic is impossible to ignore. But GODDAMN AM I HOOKED.

Let’s start with Exhibit A, Archie Andrews.

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Seriously. That’s him.

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Yes, guys. Archie. The dude who wore sweater vests in the majority of those comics. He has abs for days.In all seriousness, ‘Riverdale’ Archie is a babe. And the guy who plays him is Australian. How can we go wrong here? Archie is the FUCKING MAN. He’s got this brooding bad boy lurking underneath his boy next door persona. He’s starting to write AND play his own music! He plays football! Hangs out with hot girls! And still has time to bang his teacher!

 

If you just heard the sound of brakes screeching to a halt, good, you’ve been paying attention. If you didn’t, go back and reread the last line of the above paragraph. Yep, you saw that correctly. Archie is boning Ms. Geraldine Grundy.

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Yes, that Miss Grundy. Isn’t her outfit the epitome of style? Only she doesn’t look this way on the CW. No, no. She looks like this instead.

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Quite the difference from page to screen, there. And no, clearly the CW writers didn’t consider how weird it was to have these old fashioned names in a modern day show. I never thought I’d say that Miss Grundy was bangin’, but here we are.  Since the actors are probably the same age, their tryst doesn’t seem weird to someone casually viewing the show, but when you consider that he’s supposed to be underage, and not like, he’s a senior in high school underaged…more like…HE’S A SOPHOMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL. Ew. Miss Grundy. Control your loins. What’s worse, Archie seems to be in love with her.  Yikes.

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That’s pretty bad news for Betty, who is (unintentionally) comically friendzoned by Archie at the end of this episode. Bummer.

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But speaking of Betty, while as a solo character she hasn’t won me over yet, the Betty/Veronica dynamic is AMAZING. I love that they didn’t take the typical “GRR I LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND, NOW WE MUST FIGHT AND HATE ONE ANOTHER IMMEDIATELY” route, and that Veronica actually seems to be morally aware. Veronica, by the way, is completely spot on. They seem to have done away with her more ditzy side, and have portrayed her as the new girl in town, soon to be head bitch in charge. Oh, and if you grew up reading Archie comics and had high hopes for Betty and Veronica to make out for no specific reason, you’re in luck!

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I thought it was kind of shitty of the writers to put a “two girls kissing for attention” thing in there, especially when they were tauting themselves in their promos as more culturally aware, having LGBT+ characters in the show. This type of stuff, to me at least, seems like a setback. But back to that head bitch in charge thing…

 

Any Archie readers remember this vixen? Cheryl Blossom, the character that was deemed “too sexual for a children’s comic”. Seriously, I remember reading some Archie comics with her in them and being SERIOUSLY uncomfortable. ‘Riverdale’s’ incarnation of Cheryl also makes me uncomfortable. The main plot this season seems to be centered around Cheryl and her twin brother, Jason Blossom. The Blossom twins, from my perspective, seem to have some incestuous crap going on, and Cheryl Blossom seems like she’s off her rocker. She’s got all the sass of Regina George, mixed with a bit of Alison DiLaurentis (Pretty Little Liars) craziness. She’s head cheerleader, of course, and she seems to want to make Betty, specifically, suffer.

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The actress playing her nails the mixture of creepy/bitchy and is a perfect dynamic to throw into the whole Betty/Veronica shenanigans. It’ll be nice for them to have a common enemy, and I’m intrigued to know what’s in store for Cheryl Blossom.

Other highights of the ‘Riverdale’ premiere include super-out-of the closet Kevin Keller and hiding-in-the closet/hung like a horse/ secretly going to get a blowjob from Kevin by the river Moose, potential incest plotline featuring the Blossom twins, dead people in the river where in the closet gays go to get their dick sucked,  an Archie and Veronica make out scene, Luke Perry as Archie’s dad, and my personal favorite –a  Josie and the Pussycats cast entirely by African American actresses. And they are fucking FIERCE.

 

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I’m already looking forward to their return, hopefully actual songs that will be released on iTunes as well, and to see what role they play in Riverdale.

I’ll definitely be tuning into Riverdale for the foreseeable future. We still have to see hipster/sexually ambiguous Jughead (Played by Cole Sprouse) and solve a murder, people! Oh, and hopefully we can see some more shirtless Archie, too.

 

Riverdale: These are not the innocuous Archie comics of your childhood.

Riverdale: These are not the innocuous Archie comics of your childhood.

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Cosplay Corner: Captain Phasma Costume SuperCenter Review

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Photo courtesy of Imodelzone Photography , Cosplayer is Undiesofwondy

 

Let’s rewind back to Valentine’s Day. A time where many women blow money on lingerie for their significant others, to when men spend big bucks on jewelry, flowers, and giant stuffed animals. I celebrated by ordering a Captain Phasma suit.

I shit you not, Evil Geeks. I had the option to review and wear plus sized lingerie, but chose to be Captain Phasma instead. Anyway…it’s long past February so this review and the photoshoot is super overdue, but better late than never, right friends?

With Halloween right around the corner, I would highly recommend this Phasma costume to my other Star Wars: The Force Awakens loving peeps. It’s made of foam so you don’t have the discomfort and immobility caused by full armored suits (believe me, real molded armor is not fun or ideal for Halloween drinking or comfort in general). You won’t be able to pee in real armor, but this costume is velcro back so it makes it MEGA easy and functional. It’s so comfortable, it’s comparable to one of those onesie pajamas. Yet, instead of looking cute and cuddly, you look metal and badass. The helmet is one of my favorite things about this costume as well. It comes in two pieces so you can easily adjust it to the shape of your own head. It’s padded inside for extra comfort/to absorb the inevitable sweat that occurs when you wear masks. It’s made of plastic, but not the super thin or cheap kind of plastic. This helmet is actually sturdy and looks amazing. I also really love the cape. It’s made to drape just right over one shoulder and looks fierce. The only issues I had with this costume were that it doesn’t come with gloves (I’m wearing my own in this photo), and that there’s a bit of a gap where the helmet ends and the neckline begins, which is a quick and easy fix– turtleneck under-armour does the trick.

You can easily modify this costume to higher quality as well — my long term goal for this outfit is to use clear Worbla thermoplastic to make a hard outer shell armor to go over the suit! Also, to make the fabric shinier/more metallic. I’ll give this costume a 4.5/5!

Thanks to CostumeSupercenter for sponsoring this outfit! You can grab this and tons of other sweet costumes at their website, http://costumesupercenter.com/. Happy Halloween!

Evil Geek Book Report : The Magic of Harry Potter & The Cursed Child

“The scar had not pained Harry for 19 years. All was well.”

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The last sentence of the final Harry Potter installment, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’, has been such a source of confusion for many of us in the fandom for so long. Would Queen Joanne Rowling bestow us with some more wizard goodness? Or was she just J.K? (I’ve been working on that for weeks, don’t hate.) With the recent release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, a theatrical production in London’s West End, came answers to so many of our burning Harry Potter questions, and allowed us to travel back to Hogwarts once more. Except, oh wait, I don’t have unlimited funds to fly to London, so the release of the script will have to do!

Although I didn’t do the midnight release, I did read ‘Cursed Child’ within a matter of hours, staying up all night to finish it. The fandom is almost divided on their opinions of the continuation of our beloved Harry Potter series. I don’t see many in between responses: many people loved it or hated it. I mean, like, REALLY hated it. I saw a gif on Tumblr of someone burning their copy. It’s insane. But, if you wanted my opinion on this, look no further! [Warning: I’m going to have a ton of spoilers. So if you haven’t read the book and are planning to do so, spoiler free, you should probably save this article for later.]

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Evil Geek Book Report – “The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy”

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Hello out there in Internet land! I finally had the immense pleasure of being able to pick up a copy of Sam Maggs’ definitive guide to being a geek girl, ‘The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy”, and I’ll just say that it may as well be called “A Guide on Undiesofwondy” because this book was SO PERFECT. All kidding aside, one of the things I most enjoyed about this book, and a reason why I’d recommend this to other fangirls is because there’s something all geeks can relate to inside. Maggs’ even includes a little disclaimer right at the beginning of the book; “…you don’t have to be someone who identifies as female to enjoy it. If you’re someone who identifies as a fan [girl], then this book is for you.”

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The Definitive D23 Expo News Post: Awesome Stuff You Need to Know

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It’s no secret I’m a bit of a Disney obsessed nerd. I used to work for the company, I literally plan my life around visits to the theme parks, and I follow literally every Disney blog and podcast I can get my hands on. Since Disney has acquired some awesome properties like Marvel and Star Wars, D23 Expo definitely had some awesome nerdy announcements this weekend that had me jumping for joy! The massive event takes place in Anaheim right near the motherland, Disneyland Resort. I’ve followed the Expo religiously all weekend and have compiled the list of some of the most awesome announcements made at D23 Expo, so look no further, here’s the best stuff to come out of D23:

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Evil Geeks Book Report – IDW’s Jem & The Holograms is Truly, Truly Outrageous!

 

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Jem and the girls in their original form!

Being that I was born in the early 90’s, ‘Jem’ is just a bit before my time, but I can recall the first time I saw an episode some years back. These glam rockers with fierce fashion, a sassy can-do attitude and strong enforcers of friendship/sisterhood immediately sucked me into their world, so I asked for the DVD box set for Christmas and watched the whole thing in marathon form. From ‘The Misfits’ horrifying attempts to blow up an orphanage (yes, you read that right) to thwart their musical arch-rivals, The Holograms, to Roxy’s illiteracy, to that time Jem took in an orphan with a pill problem, this show had it all.

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“We are the Misfits, our songs are better…” don’t lie, you sang it too.

So naturally, I was completely disappointed when I found out that the movie would have, literally, zero ties to the classic show I had come to know and love. I almost wish you all could have seen my face when I watched the trailer, which might as well have been ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ with music. Maybe. I didn’t even hear them play in the trailer, I don’t think.

When I heard the comic was amazing, I was a little skeptical, because the film trailer crushed my expectations and I didn’t want another disappointment. This weekend I picked up the first two issues and was floored at how amazing they were.

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