Evil Movie Review: Wonder Woman 1984

What WW1984 did right… 

Seeing the trailer and preview pictures, we all knew that Chris Pine would be reappearing in his role as Diana’s lover Steve, but how? He did get blown to bits in the first movie, leaving me wondering how they were going to pull off his reappearance. I was worried the gods were going to grant him an unexplained second go of things, or maybe they just wouldn’t give an explanation and act like his sudden reincarnation was normal. But luckily I actually liked the premise: the whole story revolves around “The Monkey’s Paw”, a short story I remember learning about in high school where a magical Monkey’s Paw (eww) grants you a wish, but in payment you lose something even more important to you. The paw in the movie was a less gross stone, Diana wished for Steve back and got it, but starting losing her powers in return. It’s a classic story and I liked how they worked it in to a 2.5 hour movie. 

Another thing I enjoyed was Diana’s invisible ship. At one point her and Steve are fleeing in a fighter jet and she taps an ancient power of hers to make the plane they are in invisible, paying homage to the original comics where she flew an invisible jet. It was not as well explained as it could have been, but the scenery as they flew through the sky full of fireworks and the believable awe on both the actors’ faces made it a memorable moment for me. 

One last scene that I really enjoyed was in the beginning when Diana captures a bunch of dumb men trying to rob a store in the mall- during the scene a young girl sees her and is completely awestruck and excited. I loved the pure joy on the girl’s face seeing a WOMAN kicking ass, and hope the movie inspires other young girls of the world they can be bad ass. 

What WW1984 could have done better… 

The 1980’s have been getting a lot of screen time lately, from Stranger Things to American Horror Story. It was also the decade of my birth, so it deserves a lot of celebration. I am glad they chose the 80’s for this film, but they could have made it feel more authentic, and they could have had a much better accompanying soundtrack. They missed out on a lot of musical opportunities. For one of the main scenes, when Diana teaches herself to fly, they played a classical song (Sunshine Adagio in D Minor) that’s been featured in many previous sci fi classics rather than make their own creation! Talk about lazy. 

Another area where I know they were trying to make us viewers happy but fell short for me was the opening scene, where Diana partakes in a dangerous competition with Amazons much older than her. For me, the scene with the Amazons on the beach in the first movie was my favorite of the whole original Wonder Woman movie, and I think a lot of women felt that way. I think they tried to write this scene in to make us happy again, but it didn’t flow with the story and feels like it was just thrown in to be all CGI glam without much meaning. 

What WW1984 should have never done… 

There were a lot of pictures and promotions for the movie coming out showing Diana in her new winged, golden suit. The suit it beautiful, but in the movie it gets about 4 minutes of screen time and didn’t actually help her in her ultimate goal. She uses it to fight villain one (who I wish would not be named, see below) and then casually chucks it off when she has to fight villain two with wits instead of strength. I don’t know that the suit was ever really needed, and Diana might have seemed even better without it. 

And speaking of things that never should have been done: Kristin Wiig as a “cheetah”. I am sorry, but I did not need to see that. Kristin’s character Barbara is an awkward, insecure scientist that wishes she was like Diana and gets that wish, powers and all. She loses her humanity as payment, and stops caring about people like she used to. Later on, she wishes again to be an apex predator, and gets changed in to this mutant half big cat, half human creature that should have been on the Island of Doctor Moreau. The CGI was awkward, and Wiig’s character was just as bad-ass without the pathetic make over. 

The last thing that I think WW1984 got wrong was the ending. The Monkey’s Paw gets access to all the world, and the world overloads with wishes, but then has to renounce them in order for the bad that came with the wishes to go away…and they do. Diana does first but then everyone renounces their wishes to let the world go back to normal. I think they were going for the power of love type ending, but Doctor Who does it better every time, and let’s be honest, with the world the way it is today, do you think there is any chance that all those people would renounce their wishes? I doubt it, maybe a minority of good people, but the inability for us to come together to stop a global pandemic or fight climate change have proved to me the time of Homo sapiens is coming to a dramatic, painful end in the next century or two. 

On that note, I don’t think there is much more I can say, but Happy Holidays you filthy animals! Hope 2021 does better than 2020!

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Posted on January 1, 2020, in Evil Movie Reviews, Movies and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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