Tales From Westeros – Season 6- Episode 10- The Winds of Winter


What’s up you guys, its Zach P. back for the final installment in “Tales from Westeros” for this season and coming off of the explosive episode 9, episode 10 manages to be as explosive (heh). Before I begin, I’d like to thank Cmart and the entire Evil Geeks crew for this amazing opportunity to come back and review for you lovely folks for another season. Let’s dive in, shall we? And always, spoilers are here.

Promise me, Ned. Promise me this kid will live till season 6.

Promise me, Ned. Promise me this kid will live till season 6.

We open up at King’s Landing with Cersei looking at the Sept of Baelor and getting dressed for her trial with the bells ringing. Tommen, Margery and the High Septon/High Sparrow are also seen getting ready.  This is an interesting look into the daily lives of the nobility of Westeros. They get dressed just like we do! The nobles file into the sept to watch the upcoming trial, Loras is retrieved from his cell, the Sparrow and the other six septons take their seats: basically, we’re all being set up for the trial of the century. Mace Tyrell is joined by his daughter, and we know that they’re up for a pretty emotional day with Loras’s trial. Loras is (in the show) the heir to their ancestral home of Highgarden, and since we know how anti-rich people the Sparrow is, he may not escape this trial with his titles, possibly with his life. Tommen is informed the trial is beginning, but does not move. Cersei continues to get blinged out. Grand Maester Pycelle is also seen getting ready, putting on his awesome maester’s chain and chats with the much incredibly younger prostitute whom we are led to assume he has just finished copulating with. She asks him for payment, but Pycelle shoos her away. A “little bird” spy shows up and whispers something we can’t hear into Pycelle’s ear.

Loras is led in, looking pretty worse for wear. His long hair has been cut, he’s got a bit of a bears and is dressed in rags and covered in dirt. He’s no longer the Knight of Flowers that we knew him to be back in the previous seasons. Sparrow asks him if he is ready for the trial to begin, but Loras says there will be “no need for a trial”. Loras admits to “all” of his crimes, including his “sword swallowing”, sleeping with Renly and perjury. He gives Sparrow a blank check for whatever “punishment” to be dealt out. Sparrow spouts some holy nonsense and gives him a chance to recant. Loras does, asking to be a “living example of the god’s mercy” and he abandons the Tryell name and his inheritance to Highgarden. Mace is stunned, and cannot believe these words are coming from his own son. Sparrow asks Loras if he is willing to defend the Faith. When Loras says yes, some Faith militant restrains him, and pulls a knife on him. Are they going to kill him, in the Sept? No, instead, they begin carving the Seven Pointed Star into Loras’s forehead. Mace lunges for his son, but is restrained by Margery who replies “Faith is the way, Father.” Back in Tommen’s chamber, the Mountain comes and blocks the door. Being the Mountain aka Ser Robert Strong aka the reanimated corpse of Gregor Clegane, is Cersei’s personal lap dog, it’s clear that Cersei is planning something. She wants to keep Tommen away from the trial, but why?

We come back to the Sept to see that Loras’s star has been completed. Margery fights with the Sparrow, who is cocky as all get-out, clearly enjoying his influence over the Tyrells and just warming up for the lashing he’s about to give Cersei. However, Margery understands that there’s something fishy going on and says, “Where is the queen mother?” Lancel informs us that his litter did not leave the Red Keep. A retinue of Sparrows is sent after Cersei. Lancel and his Spa-bros leave out the front door of the Sept, where a little boy, presumably one of Cersei and Qyburn’s little birds, is seen running away. Lancel, suspicious, follows the boy.

In Qyburn’s chambers, Pycelle is seen arriving. Lancel continues to chase the boy. Qyburn and Pycelle speak, with the latter asking where the king is. Qyburn says that the king is “elsewhere” and that he bears him no “ill will.” We hear a knife being drawn, and it is shown to be the hands of a “little bird” and soon more, all wielding knives, come out of the shadows. Qyburn says that Pycelle doesn’t deserve to die in a place like this, but “before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest.” Now, we can believe this has something to do with Pycelle, as Pycelle is considerably older than Qyburn, and that Qyburn is clearly itching for the position of Grand Maester. This culminates in the little birds closing in and stabbing Grand Maester Pycelle to death as he screams, Qyburn looking on.


Game of Thrones Season 6: The Secret of the Ooze

Lancel is seen running through the sewers/catacombs of King’s Landing like a shitty RPG dungeon crawl, chasing a small boy with a torch. Soon, he finds the torch, but without its owner. Lancel picks it up and says “The longer you wait, the worse it’ll be for you.” Out of the shadows, the little kid hamstrings Lancel with a knife, knocking him prone and running away. The crowd seems to be growing restless within the Sept of Baelor, and Margery is looking around anxiously like the bunny her lopsided smile makes her look like. Lancel, on his hands, crawls through the catacombs before laying eyes on Cersei’s masterstroke. Wildfire. Oozing green and in barrels throughout the catacombs, Wildfire is a highly flammable substance, which when lit, cannot be extinguished and must burn out. It is highly explosive and was placed in caches throughout King’s Landing by the insane King Aerys Targaryen also known as the “Mad King”. Now, Aerys Targaryen wanted to “burn them all” as in, burn King’s Landing to the ground instead of let Tywin Lannister siege the city. In three pools of wildfire, there rests three candles. Lancel begins crawling toward them, in an attempt to extinguish the candles.

Margery has had enough and tells the Sparrow that there’s something wrong. Sparrow, still cocky, claims that even if Cersei doesn’t show up, she will be tried anyway. “We cannot let her escape the justice of the gods.” Margery snaps her good little church girl routine and says, “Forget about the bloody gods and listen to me. Cersei understands the consequences of her actions and she is absent anyway. She does not intend to suffer those consequences.” Sparrow laughs it off as Lancel continues his slow crawl. Margery explodes, saying that everyone needs to leave, grabbing her brother as the crowd begins to panic. The Sparrows keep everyone inside like zealot bouncers, as Margery keeps demanding to be let through. The music swells and Lancel is in reach of the candles, as he tries to blow them out. Margery and Sparrow lock eyes, and the Sparrow has a worried look on his face. The green liquid ignites and turns Lancel’s shocked eyes green. And then it explodes, leading the other caches to explode, incinerating Lancel. The explosions are heard within the Sept and the Sparrow’s eyes dart in a look that can best be described as “oh shit…” The green flames flow through the Sept, turning everyone inside into ash and collapsing the entire structure. Margery, Loras, Mace Tyrell, Kevan Lannister, the High Sparrow and all of the nobles and Faith Militant are incinerated in seconds. The long standing Sept, build by Baelor “the Blessed” Targaryen, crumbles into the streets. A satisfied Cersei looks on, sipping from her wine. Tommen looks on, crushed, as the Mountain departs, having done his job. I mean, what a fucking turn of events. Major characters, dead. A longstanding structure, ashes. And at the top of it all, after having lost everything at the end of last season, stands highest among them all. That being said, with all the Tyrells gone, I hope they bring in Margery and Loras’s two older brothers, Garlan and Wilas next season, but lets be real, they won’t.

Cersei, apparently not done, pours wine all over the face of a restrained Septa Unella. “Confess.” Cersei keeps pressing, pouring more wine in an alcoholic waterboarding. “It felt good, beating me, starving me, frightening me, humiliating me. You didn’t do it because you cared about my atonement, you did it because it felt good.” Now Septa Unella was the woman in charge of extracting a confession from Cersei, and this is clearly some revenge. Cersei talks about what she does because it feels good. “I drink because it feels good, I killed my husband because it felt good to be rid of him. I fuck my brother because….” Eh, you get the idea. Cersei is confessing to Septa Unella, but it’s clear that this information isn’t going anywhere, otherwise Cersei wouldn’t volunteer it. She reveals that all the Sparrows and such are dead and it upsets Septa Unella. Cersei goes onto say that “imaging their shock and their pain” is a thought that has given her greater joy than any. Cersei is very clearly losing it, hardcore. Septa Unella replies to Cersei re-iterating that hers would be the last face she saw before she died by saying “Good. I’m glad to see your face. I’m ready to meet the gods.” Cersei is so surprised by this, and says that today isn’t going to be the day she dies. “You’re not going to die for quite a while.” She calls in the Mountain, saying that like Septa Unella, Gregor is “quiet too”. Gregor comes in, and doffs his helmet. We haven’t seen Gregor without his helmet, and we still don’t really. But it happens! We can see in the silhouette that there are bits of skin hanging off of his face and a bit of a glint of light shows us his purple skin and cloudy eyes. He approaches Septa Unella as Cersei chants, “Shame” while shutting the door behind her. Septa Unella screams in horror. Now, a lot of people believe that Gregor is raping the Septa to death, which would be in line with the show, however I don’t really know if that’s the case. It could definitely be possible, being that Gregor was a renowned rapist when still alive, but I don’t know where people are getting that from. If you can explain, do so in the comments.

Tommen is still looking at the wreckage of the Sept of Baelor, as his attendant attempts to apologize for his loss. Tommen calmly removes his crown, goes off-screen and returns, stepping into the windowsill and throwing himself out of his window. I mean, you have to feel for Tommen. He’s been manipulated by this mother, the High Sparrow, his wife, his Small Council, and at the end of the day, he’s just a kid. Tommen is only about fourteen or fifteen years old, and he was thrust into the position of King when Joffery died. He never asked to be king, hell, in the books, all the boy wants to be is a knight. And now he watched his wife die and knew, knew definitively that his mother was behind it. You watched the realization happen on his face. It’s a damn shame, really. He was a harmless kitten beaten around by lions.

We’re transported to the Twins, where Walder Frey aka Shitbag McKillmyfavoritecharacter hoists a toast to House Lannister and House Frey and talking about the alliance between the two houses. “The Freys and the Lannisters send their regards” is apparently the phrase they’re gonna use when they kill their enemies. A serving girl keeps staring at Jaime, prompting Bronn to make a joke about how handsome he is and how easy it is to get ladies. Jaime claims that they’re not his type, to which Bronn quips back, “Not blonde enough?” Jaime pulls a “Have you met Ted?” on Bronn and sets him up with the two ladies, and Bronn goes off to bang them. Walder Frey talks to Jaime for a bit of exposition, explaining to us that Edmure is back in his cell because he cannot kill his son by law, as is the Westerosi taboo against kinslaying. The serving girl is seen looking at Jaime again, this will be important later. Walder Frey mentions that Tywin would be pleased with their arrangement, the Blackfish being killed by foot soldiers. Jaime asks if Walder did much fighting when he was a younger man. Walder Frey deflects the question. Jaime calls him a “great conqueror”, and Walder claims that those who mock me are now dead, and he claims that is his victory. He mocks Jaime for being captured by Robb Stark, claiming that they are both “Kingslayers” and constantly tries to make Jaime his equal throughout the conversation. When he remarks that fear is a powerful thing, Jaime reminds him that people do not fear the Freys, they fear the Lannisters. He asks if the Lannister army needs march up North to the Riverlands every time the Freys lose control of them, why the Freys are needed. Honestly, this scene was interesting as it shows us how tenuous things are between the Freys and Lannisters and how this may set up for future things. Either way, it was rough learning about Edmure. Poor guy just can’t stay out of that cell. Anyway, moving on, back to King’s Landing.

Qyburn has Tommen’s body covered with a sheet, a devastated, silent Cersei looking on. This is the end of the second step in the Maggy the Frog prophecy about Cersei. Two that her three children will have “gold crowns and gold shrouds”, meaning they will all be in a ruling position and then die.  Cersei’s last child is dead, and with it, the rest of her humanity. “Show me.” She demands Qyburn. Qyburn lifts the sheet, and begins to ask her about funeral arrangements. This is interesting because Cersei’s face does not move at all throughout the time she is looking at Tommen’s body. This shows just how things are for her, she is empty, with nothing to live for except ruling as queen. That’s the second part of the prophecy, about Cersei being queen “for a time, until another, younger and more beautiful” is said to come to “cast (Cersei) down and take all that (she) holds dear.” More on that later. Cersei has Tommen burned, and his ashes buried where the Sept once stood.

Oh I am gonna skim the FUCK out of every one of these books!

Oh I am gonna skim the FUCK out of every one of these books!

In Oldtown, Sam and Gilly get off of a ride they hitched with a merchant on his cart. Sam has Heartsbane, his father’s stolen sword, all wrapped up, and they come upon the sight of the Hightower. Now, the Hightower is a large sortve lighthouse structure that is home to House Hightower, whose notable members include Gerold Hightower, a member of the Kingsguard who was killed at the Tower of Joy, Alerie Hightower, wife to Mace Tyrell and mother to Margery and Lynesse Hightower, who was married to Jorah Mormont. Now the Hightower is not the Citadel, where the maesters train, but it is the largest structure in Oldtown, so I’m unsure if B&W are just throwing it out there for show, or they’re implying that Hightower is the Citadel. Anyway, inside, Sam goes up to the front desk and explains who he is and why he’s there. The outdated information leads the weird provost guy at the front desk to believe that Jeor Mormont is still Lord Commander at Castle Black. When Sam tells him that they didn’t receive a notification, he explains that Maester Aemon became ill after the election and that’s why he’s here. After a botched attempt at humor, the maester relents and says that “the archmaester” will discuss the irregularities of Sam’s arrival with him. Now, in the books, there isn’t just one archmaester, there are many, differentiated by every type of knowledge, as a master of that particular study. To showcase their archmaester status, they are given a mask, ring and rod made of the metal of their field of expertise. So ravenry would be black iron, history is copper, silver is healing, on and on. Now, in the books, the more important and more talked about archmaesters is Marwyn also known as Marwyn the Mage. Marwyn the Mage is important because he has a few sections in a Feast for Crows where he talks to Sam Tarly and then leaves to meet Danaerys Targaryen. Marwyn the Mage’s mask, ring and rod are made of Valyrian steel, making him the Citadel’s expert on magic. Sam knowing some magic may be helpful in the coming war with the Night’s King. We know that Marwyn is powerful, as we are told by Mirri Maz Durr, the witch responsible for the vegetative state Khal Drogo was put in before he died, learned her magic from Marwyn. Gilly and Little Sam are turned away at the gate and Sam is led into the Citadel library. And it is extensive. Book lover Sam is probably having a rock hard literary boner right now.

In the North, a white raven is seen flying toward Winterfell. Jon guides Melisandre through some hard memories of not being seated at the family table during the feasts, boo fucking hoo, you’re a bastard. We get it. “It could have been worse, Jon Snow, you had a family. You had feasts.” Get your fucking privilege checked, Jon. Jon relents, claiming he was “luckier than most”. Davos storms in and tosses the burnt stag toy to Melisandre, who immediately realizes what’s about to happen. Jon is confused, Davos is adamant. “Tell him. Tell him who it belonged to.” Melisandre’s words are heavy with regret. “the princess, Shireen”. Shireen Baratheon, Stannis’s only living child by his wife Selyse. Davos presses Mel, trying to get her to explain herself. “Tell him what you did.” Melisandre admits to burning Shireen. “Why?” a devastated Davos asks. Melisandre begins to explain herself, about the army starving and the horses dying. Davos fires back with some basic human decency, saying that she burned a little girl alive. “I can only do what my lord commands” explains Melisandre, sounding like a Nazi at the Nuremberg Trials. “If your Lord commands you to burn children, your Lord is evil.” Davos screams. Melisandre explains that it’s through Rhollor’s will that Jon Snow is alive. Davos explains what Shireen meant to him, saying that he loved her “as if she were my own.” Liam Cunningham should honestly get some sort’ve award, he was so sad in this. “She was good, she was kind, and you killed her!” Melisandre pulls out her trump card. “So did her father. So did her mother. Her own blood knew it was the only way.” This is in reference to Stannis and Selyse’s agreement to the killing of her daughter. Davos isn’t finished, “And for what? They all died anyway.” He’s flaying Mel alive with these lines, talking about how she fucked up making Stannis feel like he was Azor Ahai, lying. “I didn’t lie. I was wrong.” Mel defends. “Aye, you were wrong. How many people died because you were wrong?” Davos asks Jon’s permission to kill Mel, and Jon asks Mel if she has anything to say for herself. Mel lays her cards out on the table, saying she’s ready to die, but the Lord isn’t finished with her yet. That she can still fight the war against the Night King. Jon clearly has a decision to make, to his honor and Davos, or to the war to come and Melisandre. Jon tells Melisandre to ride South and that if she is ever seen in the North again, she will be hanged as a murderer, which Davos informs her he will gladly do himself. See this may not have been the best idea on Jon’s part, but we’ll see. Jon and Sansa talk on the ramparts of Winterfell, where Jon tells her the Lord’s chamber is being prepared for her. Sansa wonders why Jon won’t take it, and he says “I’m not a Stark.” “You are to me,” his sister replies. Jon says that Sansa is the Lady of Winterfell and that they would not have survived without her and the intervention of the Vale knights. Jon asks Sansa if she trusts Littlefinger, to which she replies that “Only a fool would trust Littlefinger.” Sansa apologizes for lying to Jon and keeping secrets. Jon claims that they “cannot fight a war against themselves” and they have to trust each other. Sansa stops Jon saying that the white raven that came from the Citadel is the marker of winter arriving. Jon smiles and says, “Well, father always promised, didn’t he?”, in reference to House Stark’s words, “Winter is Coming”.  Sansa looks out over the North, and the Starks are finally home. And winter is finally here.

In Dorne, Olenna Tyrell meets with Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes, telling the story of the last Tyrell to come to Dorne and his subsequent assassination. Olenna tongue lashes everyone in the room in her funeral garb, talking about her fallen family and how Dorne and the Reach are soon to be in cahoots. Olenna talks about survival not being on her mind, clearly heartbroken over the loss of her family. Ellaria claims that she offers Olenna her “heart’s desire.” When asked, Ellaria rings a bell. “Vengeance. Justice.” A man approaches, revealed to be Varys comes forth and offers, “Fire and blood.” Now, “Fire and Blood” are the house words of House Targaryen, so Varys is appearing to be the middleman between Dany and a possible alliance between her and Dorne/The Reach which would be instrumental in taking over Westeros. Man, the blessings just keep falling in Dany’s lap.

In Mereen, Dany drinks in the great pyramid. Daario comes in and begins to tell her that the ships are ready. Dany informs him that he’s staying in Mereen with the Second Sons to keep the peace while the “people choose their own leaders.” Daario is angry, saying “Fuck Mereen, fuck the people, I’m here for you.” Dany is here to shut his ass down and tells him that he’s not going. That because she’s going to Westeros, she may have to seal an alliance through marriage. Daario quips, “Who are you marrying this time?” Dany isn’t amused, but plays along. Daario asks if she’s a queen or “fish bait”. I dunno, Daario, given last episode, you may want to rephrase that to kraken bait. Daario doesn’t want a crown, he doesn’t want anything; he just wants Dany. He drops the L word, and claims that he’ll fight for her. Dany merely replies, “I can’t.” Daario begins to get this, claiming that Tyrion likely told her to do this. Dany basically offers him the “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” line. Whoo. If this was a breakup, it’d be one that you’d tell your friends about and everyone would take you out for a pity drink. She tells him that directions will be left for him regarding Mereen and the Bay of Dragons. When Daario inquiries about the name, Dany replies that it can’t be named Slaver’s Bay anymore. Hell yeah, changing shit. Daario says that he hopes the throne brings Dany happiness and that he pities the lords of Westeros. Dany and he have a pretty awkward farewell, and the two part ways. This was a touch sad for Daario, who, like Jorah, was just in love with and enjoyed serving Dany but is seen as less trustworthy because he’s a mercenary. Either way, he is no fit consort for a queen, and that’s what Dany is destined to become. Given that she’s soon to be back to Westeros, changes need to happen now.


In the throne room in Mereen, Tyrion sits and does what he does best: drink. Dany arrives and Tyrion asks her how Daario took the news. Tyrion begins to explain why he had Dany do what she did, and tells her that she will be a better ruler for it. Tyrion claims he’s terrible at consoling, and Dany offers “Yes, you are.” This is so cool, having Emilia Clarke and Peter Dinklage doing scenes together. I’m so glad this turned out the way it did. Tyrion begins to hype up Dany’s trip to Westeros and how her dream of ruling will come true. “You’re in the great game now, and the great game is terrifying” Tyrion offers. Dany woes about how she broke up with Daario and felt nothing, but Tyrion claims that he won’t be the last, to which she snarks back, “You have completely failed to console me.” Tyrion begins to tell her that he’s been a cynic his entire life, and that people are always asking him to believe in something. Tyrion said “no thank you” to belief, he claims, and instead remarks about change, saying “I believe in you” to Dany. This is reminiscent of a scene from Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables (the book, not the fantastic musical) where the revolutionary leader Enjolras asks the cynical Grantaire if he believes in anything. Grantaire simply replies, “I believe in you.” This is a trope, of the cynic getting his purpose and it’s a beautiful moment for Tyrion. He claims that he would swear Dany his sword, but he doesn’t actually own one. Dany claims that it’s his counsel she needs above all else, and she is assured by the Imp that she has it. With this, Dany pins on the traditional badge of the King’s Hand and proclaims Tyrion Hand of the Queen. Tyrion is clearly overwhelmed with emotion, and bends the knee to Dany. Bends the knee to his queen. This is huge, as it’s the first time Tyrion is really being recognized for his merits and being awarded for them, whereas in Westeros he was looked down on for his family name or his dwarfism. It’s a big circle for his character, but its back to the good part of said circle, where Tyrion has power and is able to wield it. And with Dany headed to Westeros, and Cersei having been told that a “younger, more beautiful queen” is coming her way, we may see her fulfill a prophecy, as well as re-invade Westeros, just like her ancestor Aegon the Conqueror did.

The Starks send their regards, all four of them.

The Starks send their regards, all four of them.

At the Twins, the feast from earlier is cleaned up. Walder Frey speaks to the serving girl who was staring at Jaime, asking if she is one of his staff. She replies no, and Walder claims that it makes sense because she’s too pretty and spanks her ass. Walder asks to the location of his sons. The serving girl insists that they’re “right here”. And after a while, she points to the pie. Walder peels back the crust to reveal a finger embedded into the pie. The serving girl tells Walder that his sons weren’t easy to carve, especially his son Black Walder, and then takes her face off. That’s right! It’s everyone’s favorite prepubescent maniac, Arya Stark! She tells Walder her name and that she wants him to know that the last thing he’s ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at him as he dies. Walder tries to escape and then Arya slits his throat, watching as he slowly bleeds out with abject satisfaction. I mean, Walder Frey has been an asshole since the Red Wedding, but Arya has just at this point become a complete and utter murderer. Also, it’s good to see her back in Westeros, but where is she going? Is she going back to Winterfell? That might be cool to see all the Stark kids back at Winterfell again. Hell, maybe even Bran will show up. Either way, Arya’s crazy, Walder Frey is dead and it was hella satisfying.

At Winterfell, Sansa talks to Littlefinger at the Weirwood in Winterfell’s godswood. Sansa talks about how she used to pray to be somewhere else and that she was a stupid girl, thinking about what she wanted instead of what she had. She asks him what he wants, and he tells her about how he closes his eyes and pictures him on the Iron Throne with her by his side, and that he only acts on decisions if he believes that he will get that. He goes in to kiss her, but Sansa straight swerves him. Littlefinger claims that word will spread fast and now he has a target on his back for declaring for the Starks. “You’ve declared for other houses Lord Baelish, it has never stopped you from serving yourself” replies Sansa. Damn, Peytr, I’m glad winter’s here so you can get some ice for that burn. Littlefinger tells her that she is the future of House Stark and that the Northern houses should rally behind her instead of Jon. She doesn’t even give him the time of day and simply walks off. Sansa is growing much more independent, and refuses to be used by Littlefinger anymore. I’m digging this character arc for her.

Wow. I can't believe my first thought is "You look nothing like Sean Bean."

Wow. I can’t believe my first thought is “You look nothing like Sean Bean.”

North of the Wall, Benjen tells Bran and Meera that he’s leaving them here, at this random weirwood in the middle of nowhere. Benjen tells them that the Wall is magic and going to repel the Night King, and that while the Wall stands, the dead cannot pass, therefore he cannot go. Benjen lays Bran down at the weirwood and goes off, claiming that he will do “What I can, for as long as I can.” He wishes them well and is off. I guess…? Goodbye? Whatever, hoping for more Coldhands soon. Bran goes for the weirwood and lays his hand upon it, plugging himself into the Matrix and transporting him back into the memory at the Tower of Joy. Bran follows his father up the stairs, where Lyanna Stark is reunited with his sister, who has just given birth. It appears to be a bloody affair, with Lyanna’s stomach all busted up and the sheets bloody. Lyanna tells Ned something we cannot hear along the lines of “His name is….” before whatever idiot doing the camera work decided to cut to Bran #saltylipreadercomplaints Lyanna says “If Robert finds out, he’ll kill him, you know he will. Promise me, Ned.” And after that, he is handed Lyanna’s child. A boy. Who opens his eyes and looks at Ned. His eyes meet his uncles and the image browns over. To Jon Snow. His eyes. The same eyes. If you don’t understand, just look up R+L=J, because all I’m gonna say about this is one word and one word only:

Every book reader's face during the R+L=J reveal. Yeah, we saw it coming.

Every book reader’s face during the R+L=J reveal. Yeah, we saw it coming.


The King in the North! The White Wolf! The... uh... guy who hopefully honors his marriage contracts!

The King in the North! The White Wolf! The… uh… guy who hopefully honors his marriage contracts!

In Winterfell, the Northern Houses debate in Winterfell’s Great Hall, knights of the Vale, the wildlings, and the Northern houses are unable to work together. Jon tries to unite the room, but to no avail. Lord Cerwyn announces that the war is over, winter has come and that if the maesters are right, it will be colder than any in recent memory. Jon merely replies that the war is not over, and that the true enemy will not wait until winter is over. This causes a debate among the room until Lyanna Mormont stands, the She Bear is ready. She first lambasts Lord Wyman Manderly for his not answering the call to arms despite his son being killed at the Red Wedding. Now, Wyman and the rest of the Manderlys are a big deal in the books, so I hope they do more with him in the coming seasons. She moves on to Lord Glover, who denied the call, to Lord Cerwyn who denied the call. “But House Mormont remembers, the North Remembers. We know no King in the North whose name is Stark. I don’t care if he’s a bastard, he’s my king, from this day until his last day.” It appears this has won the room, and everyone is feeling pretty shitty about themselves. Sansa also has a weird enigmatic smile on during this scene, perhaps she’s taking Littlefinger’s words to heart about her being the trueborn daughter of Ned Stark and that the North should rally behind her instead of Jon. It would explain the “war amongst ourselves” line from earlier. And Littlefinger’s presence in the room is something that can’t be ignored either. Wyman Manderly stands, in response to the She Bear’s tongue lashing, saying that she speaks not only harshly but truly. Wyman explains that he didn’t think he’d live long enough to see another King in the North, and didn’t commit men to Jon’s cause because he didn’t want them to die for nothing. “But I was wrong.” Wyman admits. “Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding. He is the White Wolf, the King in the North.” Wyman draws his sword and bends the knee. Galbart Glover is the next to stand. “I did not fight with you on the field, and I will regret that till my dying day. A man can only admit when he was wrong and ask forgiveness.” Jon tells him that there’s nothing to forgive. Glover declares for House Stark, pulls his sword and intones, “The King in the North!” The whole room draws their swords and begins to chant “The King in the North”. Jon rises, unsure, but his eyes steel, and he accepts the crown of Winter without saying a word. The White Wolf of Winterfell. Sansa shares and enigmatic look with Sansa, and her smile fades a bit. Wow, what a fucking scene. I mean, R+L=J got confirmed and now Jon Snow has all the might of the North behind him. All hail The King in the North. Let’s hope it goes better this time.

Ha! I'm so smart! There's no way this could go badly at all.

Ha! I’m so smart! There’s no way this could go badly at all.

Back at King’s Landing, Jaime and the Lannister army return to see the Sept of Baelor in ruins. Cersei walks out into the throne room, Ser Robert Strong not too far behind her, as Jaime joins the crowd silently. Cersei marches right up to the Iron Throne, takes her seat and then her crown. Qyburn proclaims that Cersei is Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. “Long may she reign.” Qyburn (who appears to be named Hand of the Queen) says, to which the crowd returns. “Long may she reign.” The room is echoing with Cersei’s victory. Jaime locks eyes with his sister/lover and it is one of anger, confusion and dismay. This brings us to the third part of the prophecy, in which the “valonquar” comes into play. The “valonquar” will choke the life from Cersei and lead to her death. Valonquar is High Valyrian for “little brother” and it sets up a lot of Jaime/Cersei conflict for next season, if not merely just based off the fact that their last child just killed himself because some “kindly” religious folks tried to make her be not a piece of shit for once. Dick move, Cers. Long may you be a dick.


In Mereen, Theon looks up at the Greyjoy kraken emblazoned upon the sails of his ship. He and Yara look toward the horizon with their ironborn around them. Ships as far as the eye can see are carrying Unsullied, Dothraki, and others all sailing West across the Narrow Sea. There are sails with Targaryen dragons, Greyjoy Krakens, Martell Suns &Spears and Tyrell Golden Roses. God in heaven, what a navy. The dragons fly above this force, the air control to this Westeros destruction equation. At the head, Dany, Missandei, Tyrion and Varys look over the bow, with the dragon queen looking forward to her dreams. To her destiny. To her throne. Drogon cries out as the screen goes black. To fire and blood, my friends.

My god, what a season. Bigger and better is what Game of Thrones does best. We saw shit tons of new places and people this season, and there is more blood to be shed next time, you be sure, my lovely Thrones fans. A big thanks to Cmart for letting me on for another season. I’ve been Zach P. I’ll see you next year. Valar Morghulis.


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Posted on July 7, 2016, in Geekology, Tales from Westeros, TV and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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