Evil Movie Review: Jurassic World

Jurassic Park was one of those groundbreaking movies that changed the way we thought about movies. For those of us that were children when it came out, it blew us away and is forever ingrained in our minds. I can still remember being a ten year old pretending to be a raptor running around my front yard (and no, I am not ashamed of that). Then there was the Lost World, not as groundbreaking as Jurassic Park, but a good film none the less. Lastly was Jurassic Park 3, a movie that I admit I never watched, receiving mixed reviews and starting to forge away from a mixture of CGI and animatronics towards a more encompassing embracement of CGI. It’s been 14 years since that last installment, and Amblin Entertainment along with Legendary Pictures decided it was time to pursue another movie for this franchise, and got superstar Chris Pratt to play the lead. Here’s my spoiler filled review of an attempt at rebooting the Jurassic Park universe.


Two words: it sucked. That about sums it up. I know I have been becoming more of a critique in my old age, but I seriously haven’t been this disappointed or frustrated with a movie in a long time. What’s horribly shocking: the movie is so far the biggest box office release this year (soon to be surpassed by Star Wars I am sure). Aside from the god-awful large amounts of money they must have spent on CGI, this movie could have been on made for TV syfy original movie. It was that bad. Ok, enough ranting, let me tell you a little more about this movie and why I am completely and utterly disappointed in Colin Trevorrow and now have no expectations for his attempt at Star Wars IX in 4 years.


The premise of the movie: it’s been 20 years since the first Jurassic Park, and Isla Nublar has bloomed in to a massive park known as Jurassic World, owned by a company that is always trying to up the anty and make dinosaurs bigger, badder, and more terrifying for their costumers. Claire plays the operations manager of the park, and I completely agree with Joss Whedon that you couldn’t have a more sexist film. Claire is rigid, a workaholic, and ice cold. Yet her partner in crime for the film, Chris Pratt’s character Owen, is supposed to be more jovial and adventurous, and the true hero. Yet I was unimpressed by both characters.


Watching Claire was just painful. The overall message: become a workaholic and stop caring about family and relationships makes you a bad person. Plus, try meddling with things you shouldn’t, and be prepared to suffer the consequences. In other words, if you don’t want to have a family and start making babies you are a poor excuse for a woman. I agree the woman was a horrible character and made workaholic women out to be terrible people, but it didn’t have to be that way! And why does making babies and caring about family make you a better woman?

whedon was spot on with his assessment

whedon was spot on with his assessment

Then Owen: yes Chris Pratt’s character was handsome, but he too was a dick. Frankly, I think the two of them deserve each other, just another couple destined for marital trouble as they struggle for control from the other individual and contemplate bringing a new generation in to the world. Great.


Ok, so you know I hated the main characters, but what about the dinosaurs? Not much better. Let’s see, they’re mostly CGI, which makes it less believable, and again…trying to bring it to the next level is sometimes not the best move. This time the raptors are being trained by Owen like many zoo animals with clicker training. Yes, that was a little believable (though he did the clicking all wrong), but to send them out alongside people on motorcycles on a mission? This was just too ridiculous.

The Indominus rex readies her attack in “Jurassic World”.  Steven Spielberg returns to executive produce the long-awaited next installment of his groundbreaking “Jurassic Park” series.  Colin Trevorrow directs the epic action-adventure, and Frank Marshall and Patrick Crowley join the team as producers.

Just like they advertised, all the dinosaurs in this film are bigger, more ferocious, and consequentially much less believable. Especially the main dinosaur, the Indominus Rex, a genetic hybrid of various species to be the ultimate killer, which of course he is. He fools the keepers and escapes on a rampage, killing for sport rather than a need to eat.


Bad move after bad move happens, hundreds of park visitors are killed or injured, and the message to various viewers is that we shouldn’t play god and if you are a woman your life priorities should be family oriented. I really felt like this movie had no point. Nothing about it was inspiring, no characters were worth investing in, the carnage is superficial, and the film was so over the top it made it impossible to actually be scared by anything. I truly think it would have made a better made for TV movie on SyFy than this box office hit it was. I am glad I didn’t waste my money seeing this in the theater, but sadly disappointed I wasted two hours trying to see what it was all about. Completely and utterly unimpressed. (Sorry, raptors running alongside a motorcycle really doesn’t do it for me).

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Posted on December 9, 2015, in Evil Movie Reviews, Movies and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I completely agree…I still can’t believe it got all the hype it did…here’s to hoping Star Wars and Independence Day don’t do the same…

  2. I’m so glad to read this, I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. The internet would have you believe this movie was a masterpiece.

    They took the suspense classic that was the first movie, removed all of the heart and warmth between the human characters and then dressed it up as a big dumb action movie with shitty CGI to boot.

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