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Evil Movie Review: Terminator 3 – Rise of the Machines

This lady is slowly chugging her way through the Terminator movies. Two more to go after this one. And today I want to give you my take on movie #3. Let’s just say I find it hard to believe it can get worse than this.

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Terminator 3 is set well in the future from our last movie, 14 years precisely. And I know the priority for hiring actors playing older versions of themselves is not necessarily to find individuals who look like the actor playing their younger self, but would it hurt to try? I don’t think I have recognized Nick Stahl in any films before, but I can say that he absolutely looks nothing Edward Furlong who played the younger version of John Connor twelve years earlier. It makes it hard to believe right off the bat, and this movie is centered around John Connor more than any of the others.

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Much like the poor child actors that has played John Connor, Connor in the movie has gone off the grid and become a nobody addict since after his mother died and the apocalypse she kept predicting would come never came. His whole life he had been told that was his destiny, to lead the resistance against the machines, but when it never happened it’s like he didn’t have a purpose. Rather than become any form of leader he becomes a dead beat loser.

The machines don’t let John’s absence in the public record stop them: they send back a T-X model to find and kill the other members of the resistance fighting them in the future. This model is even improved over the T-1000 we saw in the last film, and it choses a female form as its baseline form. What does that mean? Well, I think it was pretty much an excuse to get more boobs in the film (I mean, she literally inflates them to a bigger size early on in her introduction), and it means things seem a lot less scary. I know that sounds prejudice of me, it’s not that women can’t be scary, but the man playing the T-1000 in the last film just seemed so much more terrifying than Kristanna Loken as the T-X. The only time I found her scary was when her outside human form melted and we were looking at the ghastly metal skeleton underneath.

yeah...they just wanted an excuse to have a naked woman in the movie

yeah…they just wanted an excuse to have a naked woman in the movie

What’s really sad is that the T-X is pretty successful and kills several members of the resistance before heading on to Kate Brewster, who is played by Claire Danes. I should have been pleased by her character, she plays a veterinarian after all. And being a veterinarian myself I want to show off our career on the big screen. Yeah, not so much in this film. There are so many reasons why I think certain veterinarians, especially critical care specialists like myself, would be an asset to have on your team in the apocalypse. Now the good news is Danes’ character is by no means baggage. She does not slow down our team, and there are occasions where she fights back pretty well, but overall I am a little unimpressed by her role.

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The other awkward part is when they are joined by none other than T-850 Arnold who is again helping them survive, he tells them in the future that Connor and Brewster are husband and wife. That makes things super weird, especially since all of us and the characters are wondering how on earth Brewster ends up with such a dead beat like Connor? And how is Connor going to rise to the occasion? I think it would make more sense from how things are eventually left off that Brewster becomes the leader of the resistance and Connor supports her, her field and experience and military family background would give her a lot more leadership skills.

Basically the first half of the movie is spent with the trio fleeing from the T-X model, and John and Arnold trying to convince Kate that she should stay with them and what will happen with the machine uprising in the future. I could have done without seeing this part of the movie, seriously. Sorry but I was bored and unimpressed. I was even frustrated at times and the awkwardness just made me more upset.

Terminator-3-(10)

The last part of the movie deals with the actual machine uprising, which was a little more entertaining. It was all pretty quick. There is a worldwide virus spreading through all computers and no one knows what it is, but Skynet is actually the virus taking control of all the world’s technology so when Brewster’s dad activates what he thinks is a Skynet network that will stop the virus from spreading, it instead gives all the machines the power they needed for their uprising. The machines start the apocalypse worldwide and finally my interest was a little piqued. Though I had to avert my eyes when Kate Brewster had a pathetic break down as her father died. I don’t care if some people find it touching, but calling your adult father “daddy” when you are an adult is just weird, and to top it all off she is supposed to be a veterinarian! If any professional could detach themselves and handle death better than others it should be a veterinarian.

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But then my hopes were crushed by a series of corny events. First T-850 is reprogrammed to kill Connor by the T-X. This is pretty much the same thing that Kate’s future self did with the T-850 in the first place: reprogrammed it after it had killed her husband in the future to go back and save them. Yet Arnold is somehow able to resist this reprogramming because of what, a love for John? I’m sorry, the whole point of these movies is that these machines don’t have feelings. And it’s not like this is the same machine that bonded with the young John Connor in the last movie, that one was melted in a pot of molten metal, so it’s not like John’s speech activated some underlying sentimental feelings this T-850 had for him. But the T-850 stops itself from killing John after his (retch) heart warming speech.

much scarier than when she looked like a model

much scarier than when she looked like a model

And next we move on to the flight scene: how convenient that Kate Brewster knows how to fly. The two are told by her dying father that they should travel to a place in the mountains where the Skynet core can be found and manually turned off. They arrive only to have not one helicopter, but TWO helicopter crashes in quick succession. Yup, it’s not an action movie without a helicopter crash, and this movie was so bad the producers were hoping that two helicopter crashes would up their reviews. Newsflash folks, it didn’t work. You should have just kept James Cameron on board and it probably would have been better.

Well here is the major spoiler: the Skynet core was a lie, and this bunker they traveled to was to save them from the apocalypse where they can remain holed up, protected from nuclear explosions and the machines. And of course, bow-chicka-bow-bow, fall in love and get married, right? Cause that’s there destiny and they are so meant for each other, right? Again, I am making a retching sound right now if you can’t hear it through the internet. OK, I think I deserve an award for watching that movie, Terminator Salvation. I’m really hoping Christian Bale and Sam Worthington can redeem the franchise, but I have never been much of a Bale fan. Until next time geeks, I’ll be back!

poor Claire Danes, he's the only man left alive with her...

poor Claire Danes, he’s the only man left alive with her…

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Posted on July 22, 2015, in Evil Movie Reviews, Movies, Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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