Snack Time With The Evil Geeks

Lunchboxes were a rite of passage growing up and the Evil Geeks got together to discuss their most memorable. Many heated debates were spurred over these around the lunch table, so don’t forget to weigh in and tell us what yours was.

Biff Tannen Nintendo-Power-Lunch-Box

I loved this fucking thing. It’s the only lunchbox I ever remember having. I’m still strangely proud of owning this. Shit, I’ll rep Super Mario 2 until the day I die. Not to mention, you already know my feelings on Zelda 2. So this was a gift from the heavens for me. What’s a little strange is that it’s actually promoting the Super Mario Brothers: Super Show, which I was a big fan of. You know, the one that had a Zelda cartoon on Fridays!? Yet, that’s what Mario and Luigi looked like on the show, but not Link and that insane Hyrulian knight he’s fighting. To top it off too it’s being presented by Nintendo Power in conjunction with some company called Aladdin? That’s all kinds of weird. It seems like they are trying to capitalize on the show without actually saying that that’s what it is. Good move Nintendo, I wouldn’t want to give Viacom and a company named DiC any more money either.

I showed this to my older brother to gloat a little bit. He countered with his childhood lunchbox.


I’ve never lost an argument so fast in my life. Dat thermos…

Martian Luthor Kang 117th

I think the most exciting prospect about Kindergarten, in my then four-year-old eyes, was getting to pick out a lunchbox. If I was going to make a lasting impression on those other kids that day, I couldn’t be fucking around with some Sesame Street or Care Bears pail, I needed to present myself as a well-read young man of the world. I wanted the girls and boys alike to recognize that I had eschewed the pedestrian conventions of our shared toddlerhood by learning words like “Spectacular”, “Incredible”, and “Uncanny”.  Playtime was over.


Little did I know that this Kindergarten classroom was positively lousy with vintage Star Wars action figures and playtime had just begun.


The 80’s was a golden age for targeted advertising wrapped in the warm, inviting guise of children’s entertainment, but for every golden nugget in that rich mine of animation, there is also a disgusting lump of petrified dinosaur shit waiting behind it. For every Transformers there is a GoBots. For every Mr. T cartoon series, stalking in the shadows not too far off is a Chuck Norris: Karate Commandos. Or maybe that’s one’s the other way around? Actually they both sucked, so just forget it. For the much beloved GI Joe, and for the Transformers to an extent as well, we had M.A.S.K.


The concept of a team of action hero typed dudes, each with their own vehicle that transformed into another vehicle seems cool on paper, but in retrospect M.A.S.K. was kind of lame. I had the above depicted lunchbox for all of second grade. However, once third grade rolled around, I knew I had to class up my act a bit. In elementary school, third grade was like senior year, so I should act and look appropriate.


This kickass GI Joe lunch box was the apex of my lunch toting early school days. I loved this damn lunchbox, but as I’m sitting here writing this I just realized that the purpose of this too was to hawk toys to me, just like the cartoon. Well played Hasbro, well played indeed. I owned probably half the vehicles or figures on that box, my young impressionable mind too weak to resist the onslaught of advertising.

Finally, if we’re going to be honest about the lunch boxes of our childhood, I can’t finish this article to the sweet metal lunch box that kicked off my school career, this Sesame Street box. There’s no way they’d let a kid into school with one these metal suitcases today. It was like a tank with Big Bird emblazoned on the side. If a kid tried to take your milk money, you could just beat him to death with this thing.

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About The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks

We're evil and geeky....'nuff said!

Posted on June 8, 2015, in Collectables, Geekology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Great post. I’d forgotten all about the 80s lunchbox phenomenon, but now that you’ve reminded me… Oh the memories! At my school you were a complete pariah if you didn’t have one of these. I seem to remember owning a pink Care Bears one at some point.

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