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The Ten Best Punches from Captain America Comics #1

Yesterday, in celebration of our nation’s independence from those tea-taxing Brits I reread the very first appearance of Marvel’s star-spangled Avenger. And, since I’m a red-blooded American man, I love me some violence! Now, we’re all familiar with the iconic cover of this issue, upon which Captain America knocks the piss out of Hitler:

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But that’s hardly all of the face-smashing that Cap does in this giant-sized issue. As a little gift in honor of the Fourth I give you the ten finest socks that Steve Rogers has to offer on the INSIDE of that book.

Number 10

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The Casual Punch. So adept is Cap in the art of jawbusting that he needn’t even look at the fifth columnists he is pounding.

Number 9

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Now, this one I love because Captain America seems to actually be pissed off at this guy. Normally he has something snappy to say when he uses his godlike strength to rearrange the soft palate of a stranger’s face, but in this case he’s too angry for banter.

 

Number 8

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This is basically Captain America saying “It’s okay to hit your wife as hard as you just hit me!”. And it was the forties, so he meant it.

Number 7

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I’m no doctor, but I do believe that man is all kinds of dead. Look at what that punch did to his shins! Remember, Captain America is on all kinds of steroids!

Number 6

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I wonder if that “OOF!” is in response to that skull-shattering blow or the accompanying dig.

Number 5

imageAnother instance where Cap has almost surely misjudged his Herculean strength and killed a puny human with a single blow.

Number 4  image_2

Not one to stand on ceremony, Cap cuts to the chase and unmasks the original Red Skull mid-battle but knocking his head in half!

Number 3

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This one tells a tale, doesn’t it? The normally passionate, even whimsical, Captain America is here shown joylessly punching a man in the face and deflecting a bullet. If you don’t love what you do, why do it?

Number 2

image_1When you’re running low on punches, try hitting a Ratzi spy with ANOTHER RATZI SPY!

NUMBER 1

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Here our man the Captain actually punches the Red Skull so hard that he’s ejected from the original panel into another one. He seriously knocked that fucker through a metafictional construct! WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE EVER MESS WITH AMERICA?!?!

***SPECIAL BONUS PUNCH!!***

image_5Bucky hits this Nazi in the dick so hard that he coughs dust!

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Posted on July 5, 2014, in COMICS!, Geekology and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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