The Vikings: Season 2 – Episode 8: Boneless
Time to break out your swords and put on your raiding boots kiddies because it’s time for more Vikings! After last week’s brutal episode and plot resolution concerning Jarl Borg (that poor bastard,) we’re moving in new directions and setting sail for lands beyond our borders. Considering how the Viking Superfriends of Rangar, Lagertha and Horik all deem themselves equal, it’s going to be interesting to see how this plays out. I’m shaking with anticipation just thinking about it.
We start off this week with Aslaug writhing around in pain. Something doesn’t seem right here as even Ragnar looks seriously worried. Could she die during the birth of what appears to be her fucking 30th kid? And another son? How does she just keep popping them out like that? We head over to a rocky shore where Lagertha, Bjorn and Horik are all having a discussion which in turn gets interrupted with the news of Ragnar’s new son. Lagertha looks upset, and understandably so, but not enough to not question this new girl about her relationship with Bjorn. Bjorn answers for her, but also states he is in love with her. That was pretty quick…I figured they would draw that out for at least two or three episodes before he officially declared it. Time moves fast it seems. We head over to a nice little training session between Rollo and Bjorn, and after some swordplay, Rollo gives him a solid lesson; always kill your enemy if you can. I tell my underlings the same thing.
So I guess my previous statement of Aslaug having too many kids may have been a little harsh, as this one doesn’t seem to be in good shape unfortunately. Ragnar offers the hard solution, to which Aslaug doesn’t really agree. I can understand that. I’m not really sure how that should play out. It’s a pretty touch subject but then again, this was a rougher time than it is now. Athelstan has a little palaver with Ecbert’s son, and Athelstan doesn’t feel like Ecbert should get into any conflict with the Northmen. Could this be his way of helping out Ragnar long distance? We shall see. Ragnar steals his newborn son in the middle of the night, and takes him to a river. This is going to be a huge issue if he goes through with it. Not just with Aslaug, but with everyone. Yes, like I said these were harsher times, but even in doing an act like this, however merciful some may think it is, it is not going to happen without any sort of backlash. Aslaug obviously is going to lose her shit, the men will understand but still have their judgements, and how will Lagertha react to something like that? This could get really messy…..no pun intended.
We come back from commercial break with Ragnar briskly walking away from the deed, not having killed his baby. Aslaug comes running through the forest and finds the baby still alive, as she breathes a sigh of relief. We get a fantastic shot of Lagertha riding through the woods, and considering how tough the first half of this season has been on her, I’m glad she has acquired some power and an Earlship of her own. She lets her people know that she is going out to raid with Ragnar and Horik, which is met with some mild flair from the crown. This new guy is creeping me out a bit. After cutting off Lagertha’s ex’s head, he has been on creep alert. Him and his moustache which looks like it connects to his chest…for fuck’s sakes. The scene shifts to Athelstan at Ecbert’s daughter’s dinner, and he’s getting grilled by this new girl, who has a bit more balls than most of the other people in attendance. She’s fiery, and it looks like she may bang Athelstan at some point. Good on ya buddy. We go back to Lagertha, bathing, and my heart stops. There’s a peephole, and someone looking, but Lagertha doesn’t seem to mind. Turns out her and this guy, the moustache rider, made a loose arrangement that Lagertha, thankfully, is not holding up to as it would mean her hand in marriage. She just can’t catch a break with all of these creeps trying to forcefully take her. Once again though, she proves that she has bigger juevos than most men around there.
Now, when I originally said that the women would have an issue with leaving the baby out to die, but I guess I was wrong, as Siggy tells Aslaug that she needs to put the baby out there after they show us it will never be able to walk. Oooof….that’s a toughy. Remember that fiery girl I spoke of? Well she’s banging Ecbert, who seems to not be a long distance runner, if you know what I mean, so he lets his guards have her, which she apparently is super into…which forces me to change my original statement of fiery to a bit more of the…shall we say water variety? Yeah we’ll go with that…keep it civil. We’re at the halfway point now and we haven’t gotten any raiding yet. I’m starting to get slightly antsy, but I will allow it as the episode has accomplished two things so far; cemented Lagertha’s grip on her kingdom by now succumbing to that man, and lighting the spark of doom on Ragnar and Asalug’s relationship. Unfortunately, the baby is going to be at the center of it I believe, and the poor kid has enough to deal with already.
We come back from commercial and my prayers have been answered. The ships are coming in, and it looks like it’s time to set sail towards adventure. Ragnar and Aslaug give a name to the baby, Ivar the Boneless, and I feel bad for saying this but that such a fucking badass name to have. It sucks the way it was given, but come on. Bjorn says goodbye to his girl, and she says she loves him too. I love how they are showing everyone getting ready to set sail. Floki shocks us a bit by saying that he is going raiding with Horik rather than Ragnar, as he understands the darker gods that haunt him. Could this be for Ragnar’s protection, or will it be for Horik’s? This is also the first official raid of Ragnar and Bjorn together, and this is also the first one that Ragnar doesn’t seem to really want to be a part of. Poor guy just had a sick kid, the last place he wants to be is away from it. Lagertha seems to be enjoying it though, standing at the bough of her ship with a huge smile on her face. Good for you Lagertha. Soak it all in. On a side note, I’m not sure if any of you have seen that cable provider commercial with the marionette wife slamming down drinks, but it is altogether hysterical and horrifying. I recommend finding it and checking it out.
We come back once again from commercial and we see some dolphins and whales swimming along the boats carrying the Vikings, which seems to happen in the NFL all the time. HEYO! I literally know nothing about sports. Moving on. Floki has a nice little conversation with Horik, and I’m starting to get a little worried about my favorite crazy person. Horik spots land, and the race is on to get to the killing. Poor Athelstan. What is he going to do when he finally sees Ragnar, Lagertha and Bjorn again? Ecbert lets him know he’s back, but also lets him know that he will try to reason rather than fight him, but will if he needs to. I really fucking hate King Aelle too. I have a hard time putting the word King before him because I want him to die so bad. I don’t know why…I just do. Not in real life, mind you, just the show. Our Vikings have now made camp, and it’s come time for a chat between the Viking Superfriends. Ragnar lets them know that he sent out a rider to let Ecbert know he is here to talk, not to fight, but it gets under the skin of Horik, who wants to be informed, and even Lagertha agrees. I can see that. It is a sort of loose democracy, but Ragnar does have the right idea. Horik thinks that Ecbert will send some men to either trick them or kill them, and considering the previous visit, he is well within reason to think that. As we head into our last commercial break of the night, we have yet to see a single drop of blood, which I guess is okay…as long as next week they spend half the episode budget on blood squibs and dismembered fake limbs.
We’re back from our final break, and Ecbert’s envoy has arrived at the camp site of our Vikings. His envoy is his son, and he should probably have sent someone different considering what happened last time. Ragnar seems to have this under control though, until he sees Athelstan’s ring. He gets a bit nostalgic, but happy that he’s alive. Ragnar says that all 3 of them will accompany him to Ecbert’s, and I have a feeling Horik may mess this up somehow….and I was right as there was a trap set for Ecbert’s son and his men as they rode back. Horik’s son even takes down a few guys before they all run off, leaving him alive. That’s probably a good move. Well now…this week’s episode served quite a few purposes, albeit less bloody ones than I would have preferred, but important nonetheless. First off, the establishment of the Viking Superfriends, Ragnar’s new son being born boneless, the possible relationship ender between Ragnar and Aslaug, and getting back to Wessex for some good old fashioned raiding. Next week is looking to be severed limb filled and bloodtastic, and I’m super stoked for it. So what did you all think of this week? Good? Bad? Want me to shut up? Well that last one is not an option! Till next week folks! For Ragnar! For Odin! And for Asgard!!
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