The Vikings Season 2 – Episode 2: Invasion
Welcome back Northmen and Northwomen to another recap of your favorite pillagers; The Vikings! Last week left us with quite a bit of shit to clean up so hopefully this week everyone brought their shovels. Episode 2 of season 2 is gearing up to be pretty crazy as my boy Athelstan is finally donning his armor and standing behind the shield wall on the frontlines. Will he lop off some heads? Or will he realize that he misses his original savior instead of Ragnar? Let’s blister this asshole.
I gotta be honest, seeing Aslaug’s face on my screen fills me with rage. Floki seems to be doing well for himself in talking shit to Athelstan and making sure Ragnar knows that he has become slightly complacent recently. I miss Lagertha very much so at this point. Listening to Aslaug complain that all the girls want Ragnar is literally the most ass backwards thing I have ever heard. How can a homewrecker get upset when someone else comes into Ragnar’s line of sight? Ridiculous. Now she seems to be making some awkward threats…..like their baby will be part dragon….and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Poor Rollo….even though he’s sewn his own shitty bed, but I can’t help feel for the guy. He’s a shadow of his former battleaxe wielding self, but his balls are still hard enough to grab some molten steel in an act of defiance. Fuck yeah. We go into our first commercial break with quite a few questions being brought up and not many answers so far. Understandable since the episode just started, but still. The lack of Lagertha is slightly putting a downer on this episode, but I know they are going to make up for it. I have a feeling there is going to be some serious battle happening soon, and I can’t wait. Come on commercials, finish the fuck up already.
How many kids does Ragnar have? More than Rollo….oooof that one kind of hurt a bit. They finally have a sort of civilized pow wow, until Rollo decides that this is a phych session. He’s trying to pull this sibling rivalry stuff, but Ragnar doesn’t seem to be having it….until Rollo uses the term respect. This at least earns him a maybe, which in their world is pretty much like I’ll let you live for now. Athelstan finally makes his appearance, and he’s gotten pretty good at wielding an axe. I’m looking forward to him burying it into some asshole’s face. I’ve got goosebumps. King Horik Donal Logue and his version of Gary Oak are not too keen o sharing the same air, but they have a mutual respect for eachother in terms of pillaging. This is going to end badly.
Rollo finally gets his answer from Ragnar, but not entirely the one he wanted. He’s back in the band, and Ragnar’s brother once more, but he is now forbidden from raiding with them. That’s got to be tough. Being brought back into the fold and not being allowed to brain anyone….it has to eat at him so bad. But apparently not as much as Horik, who is seriously not having Gary Oak in any fashion. He tells Ragnar that he doesn’t want him raiding with them, and it can only lead to one thing…..fucking amazing television for us. This could seriously cause some serious issues, and if we’re lucky, Aslaug will get gutted by Lagertha somehow and things will be set right again. She’s essentially Lori Grimes to me at this point. I know Ragnar was the one that banged her, but for some reason I just can’t shake the feeling that it was borderline entrapment.
FUCK….YES! Finally some raiding. Floki lets us know their ships aren’t shit, and I love him for it. Ragnar informs Gary Oak he isn’t allowed to raid, and Sig lets Horik know she is willing to give up some dirt on Ragnar. Is everyone trying to fuck eachother over here? Oak is playing to Rollo’s damaged psyche, and tries to get him to leave Ragnar again. Oh Odin the humanity. A stiff right hand to Oak’s face puts that all to an end, and Rollo is fucking back. YES. Siggy also shows us what kind of fick she is by banging Horik, and this can only lead to trouble. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we are finally going to get some raiding done. I apologize for jumping the gun earlier, but I was just too excited. I also know these are all very spoiler heavy, but I like to imagine that we are all watching these together…so sue me. Rollo is bitter at his lack of raiding, which is understandable, but the ships have sailed and we are on a course of watery destruction.
Floki is a fucking madman. If there is one place you don’t want to be on a rocking boat, is right at the front where everything is the most choppy. Horik doesn’t seem to be enjoying the boat ride as much as Ragnar, and Ragnar proves again why he is who he is….no fear whatsoever….except for his family, but that doesn’t count. The women have their time on the screen as well as they attempt to finally become friends….which I don’t think they understand the meaning of.
Our Vikings finally find some land, and although they don’t exactly know where they are, someone seems to….Athelstan, which makes me believe that this could be some kind of monastery or maybe even a land they have been to already. Can anyone say England? Well I hope so at least. It definitely looks like it considering the armor that scout was wearing, but it could be any land that has knights/warriors/ armor wearing dicks.
And we’re back from commercial with some serious marching through some woods and water. I’m getting a tingly feeling in my pants right now….it’s the call of battle. OH SHIT! Arrows! Get the fuck down! I fucking hate archers. BATTLE!!!!!I have the biggest fucking battle hard on right now. Athelstan holds his own against 3 guys while everyone else tries to keep from dying, even going so far as to save Ragnar’s life. For that, he earns himself his iron ring. Turns out this place is Wessex, and apparently their king is hot stuff. King Ecbert is formally introduced to us, and we may have our antagonist for this season. What a fucking episode. Between the battle and the backstabbing, this one was chock full of northern goodness. I honestly can’t wait for next week right now because I want to know what is going to happen with Ecbert. He seems to know who the Vikings are, and he seems to be somewhat ready for them. I’m so goddamn excited that I can barely contain myself. Till next week Vikings! Onward! For Odin!
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