The Vikings: Season 2 of The History Channel’s Epic Saga


Welcome back my fellow northmen and northwomen! Oh you better believe I’m losing my shit right now because our favorite raiders and pillagers have come back to savage your brain and steal your hearts. It’s been a long time since we’ve gone raiding with Ragnar and his crew of Vikings and my battle heart has been sorely underutilized. I have spent the last few weeks getting myself ready for an explosion of murder boners, but there is not enough blood in my body to keep it going much longer, so I am thankful, and you should all be too, that the day has finally come. So what can we expect this season from our warriors? If last season was any indication, we have quite a few issues that are going to need to be resolved. Where will Rollo’s allegiances finally settle? Will Lagertha gut the shit out of that home wrecking princess? Will Ragnar lead his people into riches and glory? Or will he be the undoing of everything they have worked for? Everything will be answered this season, and hopefully more issues arise that will lead us to fantastic viewings. Grab your sword and shield Vikings, because shit is about to get fucking real. Also, if I don’t get to see Floki doing some awesomely blasphemous acts and Donal Logue eat up the screen, I’m going to be quite upset, but I have faith. Onward! To Glory! And for Odin!

As an added bonus to you all, I am going to be writing this one out live for you. Don’t worry though, it won’t stop me from enjoying my brethren’s battles and adventures……but you all owe me. I kid , I kid…..but fucking seriously. Let’s do this!

This recap they are showing before the new season starts is making my blood boil with anticipation. I’m looking at things in my office at the moment to cleave in two. We get things rolling with a shot of Rollo looking quite badass. Apparently he’s been out and about on his own, showering in blood and his own personal glory, but now he’s back…and it looks like he’s got his own crew. What a bitch. I mean he’s definitely looking quite a bit more weathered than at the end of last season, but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that he did what he did. After a meeting with a chosen rider, Rollo lets them know that he will answer Ragnar’s request with blood. This is looking to get pretty nuts. SHIELD WALL!!! Boners UP!

rollo and his crew

They literally started this season in the most brutal of all fashions. A huge fucking battle. Rollo makes murdering people looks easy, and once I have finally gained a little bit of respect for him, he goes and fucks it all up by doing the one thing you should never do…kill the messenger. After such a fierce battle, Rollo and Ragnar square off, but Rollo finds he can’t fight his brother, which brings everything to a screeching halt. With Floki injured, others dead, and shit just continuing to get worse, they all decide to join up and go raiding west with Ragnar….that was a rather peaceful and quick solution. They probably should have just done that before. Ragnar then proceeds to make Rollo looks like a bitch by letting him know his niece is dead. Queue the water….err bloodworks.

After venturing home, we find that Ragnar’s son has blabbed a bit and Lagertha knows about Aslaug, the princess that Ragnar banged last season…who also has a bun in the oven. Obviously Lagertha is pissed and its coming to a pretty sensual physical argument. I wish all of my arguments ended that way. Ragnar’s son also seems to have grown a bit, and he could possibly play a more prominent role this season. Rollo is going to have a hard time this season, I’m sure of it. Just looking at his sorry state in chains is making me slightly sympathetic, but at the same time we choose our own poisons. He’s taking it pretty hard. Bet money he is going to be our conflicted character who somehow finds a way to make things right down the line. Traitor, man, warrior, Viking….and accused. Poor Rollo. Nothing ever seems to go his way. Rollo gets off…..from the crime you perverts, but everyone is pissed about it. Someone is going to be trying to kill him daily.

donal logue vikings

At our first commercial break, we have already been treated to so much plot and so much foreshadowing for our future in this season. Its looking like this entire season is going to be about struggle, redemption, and doing what is right. I have a feeling Athalstan is going to be very integral as well considering he is a former monk and doing the right thing is sort of his forte. He is going to play mediator between Ragnar and Lagertha. Who is going to play mediator between Rollo and Ragnar? Most likely an axe with the way things are going. Rollo switches his sides and feelings faster than any man in existence. He’s like the guy who orders cheese pizza and gets pissed when it gets there because he wanted pepperoni. Make up your fucking mind man.

ragnar lagertha and princess

Ragnar shows us a bit of his softer side by officially saying goodbye to his daughter, before shit hits the fan in full. Someone just showed up…..right after someone else *cough cough* Lagertha *cough cough* said that a certain preggers princess isn’t allowed anywhere near Ragnar. He does the typical thing and says that he had no idea, which he didn’t, but nonetheless it happened. I actually thought Lagertha was going to gut the shit out of her immediately, but we weren’t so lucky. I guess the slow build is just as good though. Watch it missy, one toe out of line and there’s a sword in your future. Floki isn’t dead yet, which set my heart soaring because I would have started a riot if he died. Ragnar proceeds to show us that he truly is a man by attempting to start a threesome. In a magical land called Utah, this is allowed Ragnar. Maybe if you sail a bit further than you originally planned, this could take place with no issues. In all honesty, he just wanted another son to carry his name, but Lagertha isn’t entirely convinced or happy with his reasoning, which is understandable. They are really going full force with this whole love triangle. Between Rollo and everything else it takes to lead his village, Ragnar is in for some serious responsibility this year, and I am assuming it is going to end the way things always end…in bloodshed….and we will all be luckier for it.

We’re back from commercial and it looks like Lagertha is packing her shit to leave, and I am completely conflicted on this. I don’t like it, and neither does Bjern. If he goes with his mother, he may not grow up to be the man his father is, but he doesn’t want to leave his mother either. Nothing is going to be easy for anyone involved in this situation. I wonder where Lagertha will wind up going? Albany if I’m lucky. This doesn’t look good. Ragnar didn’t even know about Lagertha leaving, which leads him to race after her. Bjern also decides that he cannot let her go on her own, so in a touching moment, he joins his mother in leaving, and our hearts are shattered. They are definitely resolving things rather quickly this season, but I’m assuming that is not going to be the last we see of our favorite shield maiden and Ragnar’s heir apparent. On a side note I really hate Aslaug. What a home wrecker. And with that, we are left to wait until next week to continue our story.


How fucking insane of a first episode back was that? We got nearly an entire season’s worth of emotion, battle and plot development. I cannot even believe that they started it out this way. I had half expected them to draw out the whole pregnancy reveal and the reunion with Rollo for a while, but they just went right for it. Good on ya Vikings. Not making us wait forever to get to the juicy bits. It also looks like the preview showed us quite a few interesting details for the coming season. Giant battles, Lagertha fighting beside some people we haven’t met yet, and someone who suspiciously looks like an older King Joffrey……can we expect a crossover? No….because there is no god apparently…except Odin and the Norse pantheon that is. So what’re your thoughts on our first episode back? Crazy? Brutal? Fucking epic? Let me know!! As for the wait until next week, the only thing I can do it sit on my couch with my whetstone and sharpen my sword and axe in anticipation. Till next week my Vikings!!

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About Arthur Harkness

I like things, and things like me back

Posted on February 28, 2014, in Reviews, TV and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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