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Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Vikings: Season 2 of The History Channel’s Epic Saga

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Welcome back my fellow northmen and northwomen! Oh you better believe I’m losing my shit right now because our favorite raiders and pillagers have come back to savage your brain and steal your hearts. It’s been a long time since we’ve gone raiding with Ragnar and his crew of Vikings and my battle heart has been sorely underutilized. I have spent the last few weeks getting myself ready for an explosion of murder boners, but there is not enough blood in my body to keep it going much longer, so I am thankful, and you should all be too, that the day has finally come. So what can we expect this season from our warriors? If last season was any indication, we have quite a few issues that are going to need to be resolved. Where will Rollo’s allegiances finally settle? Will Lagertha gut the shit out of that home wrecking princess? Will Ragnar lead his people into riches and glory? Or will he be the undoing of everything they have worked for? Everything will be answered this season, and hopefully more issues arise that will lead us to fantastic viewings. Grab your sword and shield Vikings, because shit is about to get fucking real. Also, if I don’t get to see Floki doing some awesomely blasphemous acts and Donal Logue eat up the screen, I’m going to be quite upset, but I have faith. Onward! To Glory! And for Odin!

As an added bonus to you all, I am going to be writing this one out live for you. Don’t worry though, it won’t stop me from enjoying my brethren’s battles and adventures……but you all owe me. I kid , I kid…..but fucking seriously. Let’s do this!

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Evil Geek Book Report – X-Men: Primer

Riding the high of my current X-Men Bendis buzz, I thought I’d tempt fate and see if lightning could strike twice. I wanted more X-Men but I knew I wasn’t interested in any series that had the X-Men teaching classes to new mutants so Wolverine & The X-Men was out. Brian Wood’s X-Men series (just called X-Men…like in the 90’s) was only about 11 issues in and boasts one of the best team rosters imaginable. We’re talking Storm, Psylocke, Rogue, Kitty Pryde and Rachel Grey…oh and Jubilee. What’s not to like?

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Let Me Put My Suggestions In You: The Southern Vampire Mysteries

Greetings evil book nerds, I know there are a lot of you out there following this site. While I whole-heartedly enjoy being immersed in a great TV show or movie, I am a true book nerd at heart. And so I was glad that I was given the first couple books in The Southern Vampire Mysteries to enjoy, by author Charlaine Harris, before being corrupted by its remake on True Blood. This series, which I like to call “The Sookie Stackhouse Series”, is a 13 novel series following the life and adventures of Ms. Sookie Stackhouse, telepath and barmaid extraordinaire. The stories follow Sookie as she finds herself enveloped in the supernatural world of Bon Temps, Louisiana. Over the last couple years I have read all the novels. Last week I closed the final book with a heavy-heart, as Sookie is a woman who I have really enjoyed spending an incredible amount of page-turning time with these last few years. Today I am going to bring you some highlights and an overview of the series, hoping that Anna Paquin hasn’t already ruined Sookie’s image for everyone. Disclaimer: minor spoilers to follow.

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Pulp Corner: The Black Beetle – No Way Out

Nothing on the shelves looks quite like Francesco Francavilla’s pulp crime fighter, The Black Beetle. As we wait for the second miniseries Necrolgogue to be released I thought we’d step back in time and take a look at the debut storyline, No Way Out.

A few months ago all 4 issues of The Black Beetle’s inaugural miniseries along with a zero issue (that was originally published in segments for Dark Horse Presents) were collected into a gorgeous hardcover and released.

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Evil Geek Book Report – Indie Spotlight: Merrick: The Sensational Elephant Man

1014000_250143381826967_1436045792_nThe Indie Spotlight burns brightly today Evil Geeks, for it is comic time once again in the Evil Lair!  Today we’re taking a trip back to Victorian England for an occult tinged tale revolving around a character you normally wouldn’t think of as an “action hero”.  Merrick: The Sensational Elephant Man, written by Tom Ward and featuring art by Luke Parker, is story who’s main character is an actual historical person, whose unique nature ensured that the world would know his name still today, over a century after his death.  What if the grotesque appearance of Joseph Merrick, better known to the world at large as The Elephant Man, was not just a curse, but also a blessing as well? What if Merrick’s deformities came with superhuman abilities? Would a man who has known no other life besides being a freakish carnival attraction be willing to stick his neck out to save his fellow man? Ward and Parker paint a picture of a man who’s spent his life being mocked, ridiculed, beaten and generally just been shat upon his whole life, adapting both physically and mentally to his downtrodden life to become something greater.

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Horror of Horrors: The 5 Worst (Best) Ways to Die/ Torture Treatments

Disclaimer: Before anyone goes crazy over this article, calm the fuck down. It’s mostly fictional in terms of the methods, and is meant to be funny and informative. Besides, it’s not like I’m the one that came up with these. So keep that in mind while reading and enjoy, or cry at these horrible things.

Welcome back to your little slice of hell and damnation. I, of course, am your fearless and fear mongering leader, Arthur Harkness. A little bit of a backstory on this one before we dive right in, I have been rewatching Oz recently, and in between massive amounts of dicks and betrayal, there is some brutal killing. It kind of got me thinking to be honest. If I were in prison, or anywhere, what would be my most preferred method of going out? Would it be in battle? Would it be in defense of someone I care about? I thought about this for about an hour before becoming increasingly bored……and then it hit me. Instead of what fashion of death I would choose, which method of life banishment would be the worst to receive? My mind went into combustion overdrive, and started thinking of every method of death that I have read, watched, listened to or performed in video games. Buckle in you bastards, because this one doesn’t end well for anyone.

5. The Brazen (bronze)  Bull

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For fucks sakes guys, some people back in the day were fucked up. Take a look at this for example. They must have really hated you if you were condemned to this way of meeting your end. As a means for torturing executing criminals and general dick-fors, the brazen bull was meant to literally roast you alive while you sit inside and do nothing but scream and shit yourself. They would put you inside of the bull, and then light a fucking fire beneath it just to keep you warm and roasty. Good god just thinking about it is making me sweat. I can’t even imagine the sheer horror and sense of hopelessness and fear that would overcome you while inside of this animal…..perverts. I fucking hate the summer let alone being given a personal August hell inside of a giant metal bull. We all know that back in the day people were pretty much killed for next to nothing, so being put into this thing could have been your worst nightmare, or something you deserved. Either way, I don’t want any part of this thing. Moving on.

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