Horror of Horrors: The Exorcist 40th Anniversary
You know, if there is one thing that the holiday season has taught me this year, it’s that you cannot take certain things for granted and forget those things that made you what you are……and I am fucking ashamed of myself for not realizing that yesterday was the 40th anniversary of one of the greatest horror movies ever made…The Exorcist. I was just too emotional from the tearful goodbye we bid to Matt Smith on Christmas in the Doctor Who special, but alas, my black heart was reminded of its roots by my buddy Piano Wire Freddy. So in honor of this piece of American history, let’s take a look at why this movie is a part of all of our constantly bleeding and barely beating hearts. SPOILER: It’s the vomit.
The Exorcist is one of those movies that you were told as a child that you are never to watch as it is barely even acceptable for normal adults, let alone impressionable children. So obviously when I was told not to watch it, like any sane, red blooded human being, I fucking watched it, and I was horrified. Good fucking god was I horrified, yet oddly amused. Now don’t get me wrong, I was not one of those all black wearing youths, that didn’t happen until end of high school, and only because black is my favorite color/shade/hue/fuckyou, but I was amused more because this movie was actually made and put into theaters. I was shocked. I wasn’t entirely aware of my own love for horror movies until a while after I saw this movie, but when I first saw it, I could not believe people would spend real money to scare themselves like this. I found it rather appalling. Then again, at that age I thought anything that wasn’t ninja turtles or power rangers appalling, but still, my point remained valid. That is until I started actually understanding why this movie was so good, and why the horror genre was so amazing in general. It’s because nothing fills you with the sort of primal fear and raw emotion that a good horror movie does….except a real life horror situation like that….which we will not speak of….because I have been trying for years to forget it. Long story short, the captive got away, and some money exchanged hands. I’m done with it.
The total crushing fear and emotional reaction that you get from movies like the Exorcist is second to none, except with the aforementioned scenario. It brings to you a sense of absolute dread and horror because this stuff can’t be real, but in the back of your mind, you know it is. You know there is a little girl somewhere, but do you really know if she is just a little girl, or is she some kind of neck breaking puke demon who wants nothing more than to jam a crucifix into her nethers while talking to your dead mother in hell? And I have also just officially written the sentence that gets me my millions. The thing about the Exorcist and horror movies in general is the fear we feel. Not fear from what’s happening on screen, but fear from mentally inserting ourselves into the film and into the situation at hand. We become the priest, or the mother, or even the little girl, and it scares us. Oh lord does it scare us. It makes us leave our comfort zones and enter into something that is entirely the opposite. We like to feel comfortable and we like to feel safe, but horror movies give you the sort of freedom to let that sense of security go and just be scared and full of emotion for 2 hours while you watch the film or play the game or do whatever it is that is scary. It’s a release, and it keeps our body producing those endorphins that course through your veins when strange things are happening on screen. It may be just me, and I know I talk a lot about things giving me boners, so this time I will choose a different word, but horror movies give me a superboners. The Exorcist and Tales from the Crypt were my black bread and bloody butter when I was young.
After being exposed to both of those, there was no turning back for me. It was pure blackness and bloodgasms from then on to the point where half of my viewing was cartoons and the other half was horror movies. I couldn’t stop. There is something about watching that film that just makes my blood run cold, but still burn for more. The first time I watched it, I was horrified like I said, but a few years later I went back to check it out again, and it was like a revelation. I was thinking to myself that I was surprised at my original daring act of defiance in watching it, but after some contemplation, I realized I may have been too young to fully grasp what I had seen. I was a fan of more the visual horror aspects, rather than the deep down psychological horrors that take place. I never noticed how fragile and terrible something like that could be until my more adult years, and by adult years I mean 12 and above. What can I say? Necromancers grow up a bit more advanced than normal people. I think it’s the fact that my soul is in a phylactery somewhere……and wouldn’t you like to know where? Too fucking bad. The realization that there was more to this whole thing than just watching the girl puke and cruci-bang herself (check please) was shocking, but at the same time liberating in it’s freedom and deeper meaning. I thought I was just attracted to the blood and sick and gore, but it turns out I was attracted to that, plus the fact that these people were going through something horrible on a deeper level. I guess that doesn’t make me sound less terrifying, but you guys know what I mean, although my general appearance seems to differ on that claim.
What I am trying to tell you guys is that we should all appreciate those things that have molded us and created the mindset and shell that our souls inhabit. I am still ashamed that I totally forgot about the anniversary, but I guess it’s excusable considering the sort of week its been. I really did want to do something on this though so I cooked this one for you guys real quick. I know it’s a little raw and a bit more of a trip down my memory lane, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. Now go out and watch this film in honor of it’s birthday/deathday/Pazuzu for President. Thank you Exorcist…..for scaring the shit out of me and making me never want to go to church again…if ya can’t beat em….join em?
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