Horror of Horrors: Connecting The Dots To High School
Please understand this is a work of fiction. If anything comes close to home for anyone, I apologize but once again, this is a work of fiction. Enjoy!!
Oh god what am I doing? In between scouring the internet for a possible article that has been stabbing and draining my brain for the past couple days, I found myself perusing my memory and thinking about high school and all of the horrors that involved making it through daily life as high school student. Why would I do that you ask? To be honest, I have no fucking idea, but out of the ashes of torment, comes a spark of imagination that sort of took over my brainwaves and made me think a little bit more abstractly in terms of my high school career. How is it that I never realized that high school, in bits and pieces, is essentially a horror movie come to life, and all of the players have been selected for you and placed upon a chessboard that spans 4 years worth of your time and life? It’s a wonder anyone makes it out alive. Connecting the dots from high school to horror movie should have been more difficult, but surprisingly, and albeit a bit depressingly , it was all too easy. Let’s see what we came up with, shall we?
Okay, now you are going to have to stick with me here, as this may seem slightly over the top, but trust me, after you get through all of this with me, you will understand. Also, do not get upset with me if you take a trip down memory lane and discover something you may have either wanted to forget, or something that may change the way you look at your high school career forever. High school in its own right is a very scary place. Not due to monsters or leatherfaces stalking the halls while you try to make it to your third lunch period of the day. It’s filled with horrible people who have yet to understand exactly what it is they are doing. For example, I’ll take a standard group of kids, and divide them into their respective roles, and then drop all of the horrible things that may occur due to them just being alive. We will have a killer, which is most likely high school society, and then we will have our standard horror movie group, which will be the high schoolers. Understood? Good! Let’s do this.
Like previously stated, High School life is going to be our killer here. Shall we call him Jason? Nah that would be too easy. Let’s simply just call it The Monster, and our kids the group. The monster consists of everyday life. You get up, you get yourself dressed and showered (if you prefer) and then get out and about on your way to school. First place, the bus stop. The bus stop in general is a horrible place to be, mainly because before the bus comes, that is a lawless land. God help you if you have an issue with anyone else that is at your bus stop, because for about 10 minutes, you are going to be in their clutches since most bus stops have no supervision. When I was a kid, if my grandmother didn’t take me there, I would have been free to play in the road or do whatever the fuck I wanted to because there literally is no one watching you until the bus shows up. It’s a pretty shitty introduction to the school system, but a necessary evil. How else would we get there? Parents cannot drop kids off all the time, as that would create another stigma for that child of being either coddled, or entitled to not having to deal with the regular dregs of society by taking the bus. Getting dropped off every day is the equivalent of being that asshole that is rich in the horror movie, and gets killed in a horrible fashion. It blows for us because we wish we could be that person, but hate them and ourselves for wanting it. The horror movie starts at the bus stop.
Next, we walk through those doors into the lion’s den. Where I went to school, as soon as you walked through those doors you were greeted with just under 1000 kids all trying to do the same thing you are. People bump into eachother, shoving through masses of people just to get to your locker. It’s the same as trying to force your way through a crowd of zombies. Nobody knows what is going on, but you all know you need to get to the same thing. It causes a scene of people simply losing their minds and devolving into their most basic instincts, which is to be overly aggressive and form tiny packs in order to survive the morning onslaught of bodies and hate. The monster watches you while you do this too. It notices that this is just a taste of what will come during a full on breakdown of high school society, and it just makes it want it that much more. It sees you struggling to get through, and it makes it’s fur bristle at your difficulties. It gets off on it. Finally, you make it through, and by this point your mind has become so inundated with just trying to avoid everyone, that you forget to notice that it is literally impossible to avoid anything in this environment. You will see all of those people that bother you, you will see all of the things that drive you crazy, and the worst part is that there is almost nothing you can do about it. The monster planned it this way, and it will be this way for your entire high school career. Pretty dreary huh? Don’t get mad at me, this is just the way it is. It sits and waits until you notice something out of the corner of your eye…..
It’s that girl. The one you have had a crush on since 3rd grade, only now she is dating that asshole off the football team, while you sit at home and jerk off to your collection of downloaded porn because you fail to realize that you don’t need to save those things anymore. This failure to realize will either come in handy later, or it will be your downfall. Observation is key in horror movies and in life. You pine and you write little love notes, but she will never notice you. She is the hot one, the one that all the guys go for, and the football guy has her. The monster notices this, and it preys on that feeling of fear and elation that you get when you see her. They have now been cast into this film that seems to play over your life, and the outlook is not good. The monster breathes a sigh of anticipation as it sees you struggling to keep yourself in check. You want nothing more than to be better than him, but in all honesty, what has he done wrong? Besides taking the girl of your dreams, he is just a regular person too. In all honesty, it’s her that should be feeling like the dick for doing this to you, yet you also understand that she is just doing what she wants, and it has the worst effect on you. There are now 3 players in the game the monster has set up; You, the girl, and the jock. Now we look for more.
Your best friend, the cool druggie kid that no one takes seriously, but still like, is walking towards you from the other end of the hallway. While you watch her leave, he walks up to you and shakes his head letting you know that you can never have her. It sucks, but he’s mostly right. But why is he right? The monster stirs. You should be just as good as the other guy….yet you are not. No matter though. You know how this will play out. Eventually he will cheat on her, and she will come running to you when she finds out. Because that is the sort of person you are. You are the one that people can depend on, even though you can’t depend upon yourself. You are the nice guy in the horror movie that is your life. You may survive, but it will cost you. However, you know this not to be true. Why would she come running to you when she barely even acknowledges your very existence? She will most likely be killed by it as well. The monster growls. “Fuck them “you think to yourself. The monster roars in approval. It’s breaking you down, and it is winning. It needs to break you down to near death for it to be satisfied, and then bring you back to life before starting the whole cycle again. Your best friend sees your internal struggle, and puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry” he says. “It’ll be ok “he says. Fuck that. This is killing you, and you refuse to let it happen. Courage is welling, but the ability to use it is sorely low on fuel.
We now have four. The friend, the girl, the jock and you. We need just one more to fully complete this story. Enter your polar opposite. The girl who always notices you, but you never look at her as more than a friend. Because you only have eyes for the other girl, even though she is going to metaphorically die in this. You know this, and you know that the girl who is always pining over you is going to be the better choice, but you still trudge forward. You hang out with that girl and your friend, but your mind is always on that other girl and the jock. Those bastards will never let you rest. The monster roars in your heaving chest, as it has grown far beyond the confines of that walled prison of a school. She follows you everywhere and literally does everything for you. Yet you are too blind to notice. Your eyes are fixed elsewhere. And then, something magical happens.
The three of you go to a party that you know will be attended by the jock and that girl, but you go anyways because you have nothing better to do. In the back of the party, you notice her, standing alone and crying. You walk up, and the girl that has been pining over you sees you walk over to the other girl, and it breaks her heart, but she is stronger than you know. You proceed to make your way to the girl of your dreams, to be the one that wipes her eyes, to be the one that eases all of her pain……the monster is now laughing. You approach, and you open your mouth to speak. Before a word comes out, she crushes you and lets you know in front of everyone how disgusting she thinks you are. You didn’t even say anything, and you see the jock in the corner staring in horror. Before you even know what is happening, the girl that was pining over you is now pummeling this girl into oblivion. It is the most amazing thing you have ever witnessed, yet you cannot find any amusement in it. Your world is shattered, and everything is upside down. 1 down, and the monster is roaring its approval.
The jock calmly walks up to you, and asks for a word. You walk with him outside to the backyard, while your best friend and girl who loves you follow a few steps behind. The jock lets you know that the girl is now pregnant with his kid, and he broke up with her because of it. He didn’t know what to do, so the only thing he can do, is what his father did before him; join the military at the end of the school year before college starts. He needs to leave this place, and he needs to do so now. The monster is gleefully rolling all over the ground in its own filth and amusement. 2 down.
After this night, you realize that you now have new feelings for the guy who has been your rival and most hated (albeit uncalled for) enemy throughout all of high school. You feel bad for him, and you hate the girl, even though you know the pregnancy thing is not her fault. It was the hand that was dealt to them in a moment of impulse that both of them did not foresee happening. Now it is even worse because she was just beat up by the lonely girl who has a crush on you. You feel awful, but there is something else happening now as well. Pity. Pity for them and the things they have to deal with now. Love, you now also have love for this girl you have neglected forever. The thing is, in your impulse decision to approach the girl of your dreams, after the pummeling she gave her, she realized that it may not be worth it to wait for you if all you are going to do is pine over the other girl. She also realizes just how much she likes your best friend. The monster is keeling over in amusement at your plight. 4 down, and all is left is you.
You open the door to your bedroom and stalk into your inner sanctum. The one place where you feel the safest and most at ease. The day has been a complete disaster, but you survived, even though most of your relationships and wants have now been either destroyed or irrevocably changed forever. “Its okay” you tell yourself.” It’ll all be okay. “The monster lifts his head up. You know it will be okay because he is still your best friend, even though now he has the girl that you have blossoming feelings for. The girl, even though she is now going to be seeing your best friend, is still your friend and there is nothing that will happen to change that. The monster sniffs the air in disapproval. The jock is going to be leaving at the end of the year because he cannot handle what is now being thrown at him. it will be okay for him though. Maybe the military will teach him some responsibility and point him in the right direction concerning his life? The monster roars in pain. The girl already filed for a transfer to another school to finish up her last year. It is quite possibly one of the most brutal things a person can go through, but she will be able to start fresh and away from those judging eyes following her throughout the hallways. She will be able to have her baby in peace, and not fear scoldings or laughing at the hands of the people she once knew. She will be ok. The monster falls to the ground writhing in agony. Maybe high school isn’t so bad you think to yourself. Maybe things were meant to happen this way? Maybe things were better off this way? I will be okay. I will be beyond ok. I will be amazing. This is just a test to see if I can handle the rigors of the world in a way that does not destroy me. Go ahead world…..throw whatever you have at me. I can do this. The monster lays down in defeat, and breathes it’s last breath as your resolve and faith in yourself return. You open the door, and go downstairs to grab one last drink of water before finally turning in for the night. You walk to the kitchen and head to the sink. You take a glass and fill it to the brim. You drain the liquid and head back to your room, and slowly drift off to sleep.
But why does she love him now? She should love me! I was the one she saw first!! Why is he getting all the love now? She beat her up for me, not for him! She should be mine!!
The monster opens it’s eyes….and sniffs the air.
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