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Brovember Day 11 – Zack & Slater

In some ways it might be hard to truly define a Bromance, we often have to resort to a “I know it when I see it”. The 90’s were a rich time for grown men and teenagers showing pseudo platonic feelings towards each other with homosexual undertones. If one relationship had to fully define it in my eyes it would have to be Zack Morris and A.C. Slater from Saved By The Bell (also known as the single greatest television show about a fictional high school that moved across the country between seasons and kept relatively the same cast members). Let’s dig deeper under these glorious heads of hair, shall we?

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Using a famous relationship trope these two started off as enemies. You see in the Good Morning, Miss Bliss Era of the TV show, Zack, Screech and Lisa were in 8th grade and there was no Jesse, Kelly or Slater to be found. In fact, there was an annoying prototype of Slater named Mikey who even had curly hair but was ultimately a giant pussy. It was no contest that Zack was running the show and the school. When the school inexplicably moved from Indiana to California, Zack continued his plans for teenage domination. First and foremost on his list was the conquest of Kelly Kapowksi, a woman so beautiful he somehow was able to make a life-size cardboard cut out of her that he hid under his bed for “safe keeping”.

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Everything was going according to plan until Slater showed up. A.C. Slater was an army brat who’d been all over the country with dimples for days. Not only that, but he was world class wrestler who possessed a physique way more intense than any 15 year old should ever have and a glorious mop of sweet curly haired mulletness. He proved to be a worthy rival for Zack’s schemes and was often the target of many of them. They both desperately fought for Kelly’s affection. Something strange happened though, once Kelly ultimately chose Zack and Slater had to rebound with Jesse they were able to cultivate a relationship with one another. What started as them just tolerating the other soon blossomed into a true bromance. Why use your powers against each other, when if combined you could run the school together?

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As the series rolled on Zack and Slater became inseparable. Screech tried to horn in on there territory, but they mostly kept him around to abuse him physically and mentally and be the purveyor of their hair brained schemes. They would never admit it, but they loved each other. They loved each other in a way only only two straight males could, a vision of true high school bromantic feelings. Even Mr. Richard (Big Bopper) Belding was jealous, especially with their own personal whacky handshake and all. They eventually went away to college at the same Univeristy and lived together exploring bold new haircuts.

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The moral of the story is bromances can be a thing of beauty, but can truly only exist if women are out of the equation. Introduce a female into it and things spiral out of control real fast even to the extremes of physical confrontation.

Exhibit A:

Once Bayside High’s two most eligible bachelors and enemies turned into a relationship far greater than any man could ever foster with a woman. The Evil Geeks salute you Zack Morris and A.C. Slater, you continue to inspire. May your tv hijinks never leave syndication.

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About Biff Tannen

Film Noir, Pulp, Comic Books and Hitchcock.

Posted on November 11, 2013, in Brovember, Geekology, TV and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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