Horror of Horrors: V/H/S and V/H/S 2

Oh blood and gore, you have spoiled me. Welcome back my menagerie of grotesqueries, to another edition of the highly sought after, highly controversial, and highly praised Horror of Horrors! Literally none of those are true, except all of them, and I, your gentleman Viking , Arthur Harkness, am back for another round of bloodletting. It has been a rather productive last couple years for your boy in terms of viewings and new obsessions, and I find it slightly difficult to not have one thing or another on my plate at all times. I am a machine of a man when it comes to certain viewings and marathon sessions, but I can only handle so much, but I have been working on streamlining my workload. Between games, books, movies, tv shows (NetFlix, you glorious bastard with your watch instantly and auto play of next episodes) I have been swamped up to my ears in entertainment. Like I said however, I am a machine, and I continue to plow through things like so much wet paper. Last winter, I was getting ready to do a write up on John Dies at the End, and twitter suggested I follow something called V/H/S. It was a movie, a horror movie, or a collection of shorts if you want to be a dick about it. Normally I don’t follow those sorts of things, but I took the bait, because I love JDATE, and bit. I was treated to one of the most original horror movies I have seen in a long time. Why was it so good? Well let’s find out, shall we?

Being a collection of short horror movies being combined into one overarching storyline, V/H/S was something fresh in a steaming pile of unoriginal garbage that had been steadily being streamed into existence. It’s as if studios feel that anyone can make a horror movie, but in reality, it takes a specific mind set to do so. Magnet Releasing gave us a nice look into what could happen if a few directors joined up and made a movie, but made their own movies inside of the movie. Yes people, it’s Blood-Ception. V/H/S follows just a general storyline of a couple of robbers breaking into a house and looking for a video tape that has something very valuable on it. People have gone searching for it, and others are paying top dollar for it. That’s almost it to be honest. That is the whole plot of the whole story, but that is not where the movie shines. It is in the shorts. Each film consists of just about 10-15 minutes of awesomeness, before you are tossed back into the general outline of the story. It’s as if you get a nice little break from watching the movie you sat down to enjoy, by watching another movie. I wish I could do a review of each and every one, but I can’t as that would take up way too much of all of our time, and also deny you the joy of experiencing them for yourself. I will however, give you a nice little overview and speak about some choice bits.

To be honest, I was a bit hesitant starting the movie as I am known to be before any movie, but immediately got sucked in by the first short movie, about a quiet girl who gets picked up a club, and then turn into a sex monger once behind private doors, but that’s not all. She has another secret, and it horrifying. Another short sees a couple going on vacation to the Grand Canyon, staying at a hotel and apparently being monitored by some creep with a video camera. Trust me when I say you will not see the ending of that one coming. The shorts are so awesome and brutal that it’s borderline amazing. It’s funny too because the robbers are watching these videos but are none the wiser that something else seems to be lurking in the house with them. As one person sits down to watch a tape, by the end of that short, that person is missing and nobody knows where they are. What is a person to do in that situation? If you said watch another tape, then you know your horror movies, and good job Walter Neff, you are the king of PI’s. The only downside to this one I would say is that some of the shorts are so good, that you just want that one to keep going. You know it has to end, but you don’t want it to. It makes me wonder if all movies would be so good if they weren’t 2 ½ goddamn hours long. Maybe a new genre of horror shorts is in the works? Unless it already is here….and I am just unaware.

Now I know most people can get tired of sequels, but to be honest, I normally am not one of them. I don’t mind delving back into a specific world if I enjoyed it the first time around. If I enjoy the characters and settings, I am all for jumping back in. V/H/S 2 intrigued me mainly because the first one didn’t really seem like it could have a sequel as it didn’t have that overarching storyline like most movies. A series of shorts is rather difficult to make a full on sequel, unless they planned to go back into some of those shorts. They did not, but what they did was provide us with a whole new set of shorts, and they are either just as or more brutal than the originals. I was completely impressed because the second movie is definitely way more cerebral and fucked up than the first. Some of the shorts were very disturbing, especially the cult one, as it really takes a fucked up turn as soon as you meet the leader. It’s absolutely crazy. There is also a bit more fun to this one, like a zombie/woods horror short which takes a rather fun approach to the whole thing. It’s still brutal, but less so than the others as we have all grown accustomed to zombies. I really thought the second one upped the ante a bit and made it awesomely brutal for the fans of the original. Unfortunately, none of the original shorts were revisited, but it was worth it to see some new stuff.

I have been increasingly becoming more and more obsessed with underground-ish horror movies, and have been actively seeking them out, and as October heads towards us, it will only get more severe. Every October, I do nothing but watch horror movies and horror related things. It’s me getting into the season since Halloween is my favorite holiday besides my birthday, and I start pretty early and do not quit until November hits. Maybe this year I can something special for you guys and possibly do a marathon? Why don’t you guys hit me up in the comments and let me know what you think! To marathon, or not to marathon? Suggestions? Gripes? Love Letters? I accept them all! Now I apologize for cutting so abruptly, but there’s this quiet girl staring at me, and for some reason, she looks hungry. Till next time!!

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About Arthur Harkness

I like things, and things like me back

Posted on August 21, 2013, in Features, Horror of Horrors, Movies, Reviews and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I loved V/H/S and have not seen the sequel yet. Glad to hear a positive review.

    • I highly recommend checking it out haha. I was looking forward to it and wasn’t disappointed. based on my review, I have a feeling you’ll know exactly which “episode” was my favorite haha. also, just saw Insidious 2…and not too bad actually. better than I expected, yet not the best one at the same time. pretty entertaining though

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