Villain Spotlight: The Lannisters
Warning: This won’t be spoiler heavy, but there may be some things you might not want to read. I promise to be good.
Welcome back everyone to your weekly dose of pure awesomeness. I know you all sit patiently by your computers every Friday waiting for the new spotlight to show up, and I can’t blame you. Shit if I wasn’t writing it, I’d be reading it. This week I am actually going to be doing a combo spotlight, and give you a whole family of fucking assholes. However, a few of them will be excluded as they aren’t all that bad, but god dammit the others are so bad that it more than makes up for it. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Westeros, I bring to you the (ugh, I hate even saying their name) The Lannisters!
Now, before everyone goes apeshit and says that the Lannisters aren’t technically villains, I will pipe in and say this; you are wrong, completely and utterly. I know there are multiple horrible people in the Thrones universe, but almost everything that happens in the books and in the show have been orchestrated by the Lannisters. I won’t go too far into detail, mainly because I don’t want to spoil anything for you guys, but I will at least give you multiple talking points and just some overall shitty things they have done. I am going to focus mainly on three of these motherfuckers; Tywin Lannister, Cercei Lannister, and the king of all assholes Joffrey Baratheon (I’ll explain, I promise).
Let’s get to this dirty business.
Tywin Lannister: Tywin is the sort of man who bleeds hate and survives off of spite. The weird thing is, I kind of don’t mind him all that much. Now that is not to say that he isn’t an absolute dick and capable of horrible things ( Red Wedding,) but the way he does it is just full of badassness. He is not the type to sit around and be looked down upon, and takes the name of Lannister with the upmost respect and importance. I rarely meet anyone who puts so much stock and pride into their last name, enough so to bring an entire realm to war over just that. He wants to rule everything, and to be honest, as cold and calculating as he is, I don’t think he would be a bad king. He would be very strict and ruthless, but sometimes that is what you need, especially in times of war. I will not condone the things he has done, and trust me, he has done some pretty awful things, and his treatment of Tyrion is god awful to the point where you really want someone to just cut his fucking head off. But you watch, and you read, and you wait, because he is the sort of character that is engrossingly captivating. You want to know what he has planned, and you want to know what he has already set into motion. It’s crazy really, because you kind of question yourself for liking this character. Except for me because those who know me know I’m all about guys like this (All Hail Stannis!!) Tywin is played masterfully by Charles Dance in the show, and he does such a good job of it that it is nothing short of amazing. He hits the no nonsense and humorless aspects of the character properly, and then adds a bit of his own flavor to it. You can feel the heat from his eyes when he stares at people, and you really just want him to stop looking at you, even though he is on a screen and not in your home. Such is the power of his performance.
Cercei Lannister: Cercei , Cersei, Cersei, or as I like to call her, the fucking bitch of the west, is literally my most hated character in all of Thrones. It’s as if the gods themselves took a shit in a bucket, gave it life, and called it Cercei. That is how much I hate her. Without giving away too much , she is easily the one who essentially started the whole game of thrones. Like all of it. Whether it be through sheer malevolent machinations or just using her “cunning” to make people do things for her, you honestly have absolutely nothing but distaste for her. I am all for making a strong female character, but this is just out of hand. I have never read a story with a woman who so much wanted to be a guy. Nothing against Martin on this one, as I think Cercei is a great character and needed in this universe, but he unending need to be her father’s daughter/son, she does things that are well beyond horrible. Once again, Tyrion is made to be her scapegoat because she can’t stop herself from fucking family members. Its ridiculous, yet awesome at the same time. You would think that after a while she would think, “ maybe this isn’t what I want to be doing, and this may wind up biting me in the ass some day,” but she does not think like that. Once she sets her mind to something, its all about that, and she will stop at nothing. She even acts like a total bitch to people who are in her service or supporting her, which is never cool. If you want people to fear and love you at the same time, might want to stay away from the fear aspect so much. Lena Hedley plays Cercei in the show to absolute perfection. She is just so good in the character it’s as if Martin immediately had her in mind when he wrote the story. She plays is with evil grace, and I want so many bad things to happen to her. seriously…stop fucking everyone.
Joffrey Baratheon: And now we have come to literally, the biggest son of a bitch the world has ever known. Like for reals, guys. Joffrey Baratheon, and don’t let his last name fool you, is actually a Lannister, and a fucking asshole. I really wanted to Last Action Hero my way into the TV and throw him in the bath of acid. I hate his guts so hard, that it is a wonder I haven’t burst a blood vessel out of anger. He is the perfect mix of entitlement, pompousness, and straight up malice that makes the perfect storm of bullshit. He boasts of his prowess, even threatening to carve a new smile for my boy Stannis, even though Stannis would fuck this kid up so bad that Cercei would have no choice but to cremate him. He terrorizes Sansa Stark throughout almost the whole series, and essentially makes life a living hell for almost everyone he is around. Cercei can’t control him, Jaime doesn’t give a fuck about him, really, and Tyrion tried to make him more kingly and proper, much to his unfortunate failure. It’s no wonder though because Cercei essentially plays into it, and lets him do whatever he wants, as he is King. Joffrey is just such a bad person in general, that attempts have been made on his life just by the people in the streets. You’d think he would at least see that everyone hates him, but his blindness to it all just makes him that much more hated. He is played to the T by Jack Gleeson, and I am surprised he is not hunted in the real world for his spot on portrayal of Joffrey. To be honest, I kind of fear for the kid as his performance most likely has been taken to heart by some die hard fans and anti-Lannister enthusiasts.
I know you guys are going to be wondering why I left out Tyrion and Jaime, plus Tommen and Myrcella, but that is only because they are not bad. Really. Jaime, although he may act like a pompous asshole, is actually a man of love and slight honor, although he is not above breaking an oath to do what he feels is right, and Tyrion is just living in a world that hates him, and is trying to do his best. The kids, minus Joffrey, have almost no idea what is going on, and you can’t blame them for that. Trust me though, some serious shit is going to go down, and you are not going to want to miss it. It’s so epic, and being almost all the way caught up on the books, I can only wait patiently for everyone else to get there. It’s absolutely amazing.
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