Greetings Evil Geeks!  Recently, we’ve been doing a little digging around the Evil Lair and we’ve managed to turn up some exciting artifacts.  To say that the Evil Lair is an ancient and mysterious place would be selling short the strangeness of the ancestral home of The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks.  We actually bought the place off a group of retired Bothan spies, but those guys lived here for a REALLY long time before we got here though and they told us they got it on the cheap after there was a series of grisly Gorn murders committed in the sun room.  Countless lab “accidents”, weapon misfires, prison riots, and demon infestations, have left several stratified layers of previous civilizations beneath the floorboards.  After spending much of our formative years watching and constantly re-watching the Indiana Jones TRILOGY (because as you know, as far as C-Mart is concerned there are only three Indiana Jones movies, that’s it.  No more, only THREE!!!), we feel that we’re pretty much experts in all there is to know about archaeology: punching Nazi’s before they melt, whiskey, chilled monkey brains, and occasionally digging something out of the dirt.  On our most recent expedition to the bowels of the Evil Lair, we’ve managed to turn up some geek artifacts that we think folks will get a kick out of seeing.

On one of our recent podcasts, we talked about the new G.I. Joe movie and reminisced about growing up with G.I. Joe, which was easily one of the coolest toy lines of the 80’s.  As if the Evil Geek Gods heard our prayers, within days we’d unearthed this treasure trove of Joe and Cobra related materials:

This stuff was like crack to a kid in the 80’s!

Ya’ see kids, back in the day before your internets and your Pokemons and exploring Doras, the toy companies would flood us with promo materials whenever you bought a toy.  You’d get checklists of all the figures in the current series, previews for upcoming series, order forms for special mail-order only figures, “Flag Points” for buying those special figures, and anything they could stuff into the box in order to get you to beg your parents to buy you more stuff.

One of the highlights of getting a new figure was tearing open the box hoping to get a new insert that you’d never seen before, with some mind blowing new vehicle or accessory.

Enjoy the rest of the images and sleep soundly knowing that the Evil Lair has yielded even more treasures which will be unveiled in the coming weeks.  If you’ve been rummaging around your own Evil Lair and have turned up some vintage geeky stuff, then drop us a line and you could possibly be featured on your very own edition of Evil Geek Archaeology!

Oh yeah, you can bet your ass C-Mart sent away for this kick-ass Sgt. Slaughter figure!

One of the crown jewels from my GI Joe collection as a kid, the mail order Hooded Cobra Commander figure. I wish I knew where this figure was today!

Send away for the poor man’s Captain America!

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners