Rize of The Fenix: Putting the D Right into Your Ear
Why hello there kiddies! Your best pal is back to give you some insight on something I should have picked up a long time ago, but unfortunately didn’t due to listening to a friend’s review. Which was total bullshit, might I add. About a year ago, I had heard that a new Tenacious D album was going to be dropped, and I immediately got a half chub. I am a huge Tenacious D fan, and have been since I was younger. Watching their show on HBO and catching glimpses on Mr Show with Bob and David, I was all about the D (take that how you will, pervs). I couldn’t wait for it to come out as I am not one for downloads, so my anticipation for the release date was at high alert. Unfortunately, due to me listening to a person I should not have listened to, it took me until now to listen to the album. I had made a mistake, but one that pays off for you readers.
My buddy (former) tends to be a music junky. He listens to everything and everyone. He really doesn’t have any single preference, which I envy sometimes as my music tastes vary somewhat little. It’s a hole I sang for myself, but I enjoy it regardless. He had gotten the album before me, and told me that he hated it. He was one of the people who had been a D fan for a while, but not truly, and with a lot of other people, said the D was dead. I was heartbroken. How could the greatest band in the world be dead? I just wasn’t ready for that. My ear pussy was not ready for that. I flew into a rage of depression and violence. It was not a pretty sight (I know, I am very pretty, so it is hard to imagine, but you get the point.) So I shelved the notion of picking up the album until a later date, when I was emotionally ready to listen to it. But in my heart, I felt a burning. Not angina. A burning of loss that could not be doused. I was curious as to why he hated it so much when the last two albums were fantastic? The burning subsided…and I fell into a fitful sleep.
I awoke a year later with a pain in my chest. Something was boiling in me. A need to be graced by the greatest band in the word. I stowed those notions away.
“ The D is dead,” I thought to myself.
“NAY!!!,” erupted a voice from deep within my heart. “ The D is alive….but they need you… They need the D fans to Rize up….like the Fenix !! “
I got up from my stupor, and looked at myself in the mirror…
“ The D needs me. I must heed the call….” I whispered to myself.
I put my clothes on with Blinding speed. Raced to my car, turned that bitch the fuck on, and sped to the store. Once inside, I was approached by a man asking if I needed any help.
I said “no”…and proceeded to Falcon Punch him directly out of the store. I was in no mood to be trifled with, and the D was calling me, beckoning me, imploring me to find them. And find them I did.
“The Rize of the Fenix” is the third full length album by Tenacious D, counting the soundtrack to the movie as the second album. Consisting of tracks ranging from standard D affair, to the almost too true and magnificent “Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage,” this album, for lack of a better word, is actually a more “mature” record than the previous entries. Instead of simply making joke songs and fucking around, this one goes into how they both felt the D was done as well. It’s an honest approach to what happens to friends and musicians when they begin to become more famous than usual. Relationships are strained, egos are fed, and no matter how hard it is, the power of friendship will always come through. The “ Ballad” is honestly one of the D’s greatest tracks ever. At times eye opening, and other times legitimately sad, you feel for both of them in the terms of their strained friendship. Bitterness and fame can really do things to friends, and it is chronicled in great detail. Another song of note is “ The Roadie.” Great track chronicling the unseen heroes and crew of the stage. The ones you never see in front of the stage, but without them, the show would be nothing. It’s a great tribute to those men and women who drive and fly for days only to never be recognized for the hard work they do. It’s a nice way of saying thank you to all those people who sacrifice themselves to give you the entertainment you paid to see. Because the Roadie knows what the Roadie knows. And the Roadie knows how to put on shows.
Not straying too far from their original formula, there is still comedic gold to be found on this album. The “Death Starr” is a great song that would be right up the alley of any of the writers on this website. Mainly the part about simulated boning. KG is still such a masterful guitarist that it’s a shame that he is not given more credit than he deserves. The man has silver fucking fingers and you need to listen to them. Couple with a more mature sounding Jack Black, the album is still the D, but a more grown up D. Which I fucking love. I am a man of habit and repetition, but sometimes you really do need to grow up. And they did. But not to the point where the album is boring. That would’ve made me cry tears of blood. I really want to say that it didn’t take me over a year to listen to this album, but in good conscience I cannot. It’s a double edged sword however (the best kind) because even though it took me so long to listen, it shortens the wait until another one. Which is a plus in my book.
If I told you to not pick this up, I feel like I would be doing everyone a disservice. This album is really an eye opening set list of a journey of two best friends, the trials of fame, and the reemergence of something fiery and beautiful. “Rize of the Fenix” is the most appropriate album title for this record. Out of the ashes of our failures and past mistakes (Pick of Destiny was not a failure or mistake in my opinion) Rizes a gorgeous bird of fire that beckons to be listened to. It is a great album, and I think you will all enjoy it. Now go get your ear pussies falcon punched by the D. You’ll thank me later.
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