Evil Geek Book Report – Cable & X-Force #3

Colossus' Kool-Aid Man Impression was second to none. OH YEEEAAAHHH!

Colossus’ Kool-Aid Man Impression was second to none. OH YEEEAAAHHH!


Anybody up for another Evil Geek Book Report?  Well too bad, because you’re getting one anyway!  I’ve been tearing through Cable & X-Force this week, but I am making a promise to all my brothers and sisters in the Evil Geek Nation though.  This is the last Cable & X-Force I’ll be reviewing for a while (…and the crowd goes wild!!!).  I’m really having mixed feelings about this title and I think I’m about ready to abandon it, but damn it all….some aspects of this book do have me hooked and I’m reluctant to leave it behind.  Let’s chat about issue #3, shall we?

Behold the dangers of fast food!

Behold the dangers of fast food!

Issue # finds X-Force hot on the trail of another viral outbreak.  Cable’s funky future vision has shown him that within a few days time a virus outbreak will occur centered around several restaurants of a mutant hating fast food chain.  The virus is known as “The Girth” because of its tendency to turn humans into ravenous, hideous, blobs of mass.  Taking a cue from the Chick-Fil-A handbook, the owner of the chain has been making a litany of anti-mutant public statements recently, which has been costing her quite a bit of bank. Cable suspects that she is behind the release of the virus, because of the fact that mutants are immune to the virus, so naturally they’re the ones who are going to get blamed for it.  If the viral event is allowed to occur, it will lead to a Sentinel filled age of oppression for mutantkind, so it’s up to X-Force to keep it from happening.

Hope has been hanging around with Cable long enough to be able to soak up his power to see visions of the future, so she knows what kind of damage The Girth (I seriously shudder every time I say “The Girth”.  It sounds like a penile enlargement pill that a retired football coach would try to sell you on late night infomercials…ughhh), is capable of, so she’s anxious to get into the fight.  Cable however decides to send her to her room “without dinner” as they say, with dinner in this case being a mission to destroy the restaurant chains’ main food processing plant.  Hope gets tranquilized and Cable drops her off in her bedroom at her foster-parents house, but in the process accidentally strands Domino in Hope’s bedroom.  Cable is in no danger of ever winning a Father of the Year award as he has spent the majority of the series trying to ditch Hope and hiding secrets from her.  Hope wakes up just in time for Havok and the Uncanny Avengers to show up and interrogate her in an attempt to find out where Cable is.  Havok still doesn’t completely believe that Cable is guilty of murdering a slew of people at the factory where Havok confronted Cable back in issue #1.

cableandxforce_3_preview1Before X-Force can invade the food processing plant, Cable sends Forge to do a little recon at the restaurant chain’s security facility. Forge is hoping to hack into the food processing plant’s security camera feed in order to get a little intel on the plant before the raid.  Forge is uncovered in the process, but manages to escape after tangling with some of the facility’s cybernetic security guards.  It turns out that Forge’s genius level intellect only extends as far as machines, because he ends up getting followed back to X-Force’s secret HQ.

The thing that I really didn’t like about this issue was that in Issue #2 we get a hint at a the possible return of a major villain, but he’s not metioned or referenced once in Issue #3.  POSSIBLE VILLAIN SPOILER AHEAD: During last issue, we got a glimpse of the silhouette belonging to the person who is behind these viral outbreaks and behind the major catastrophe that Cable has foreseen.  I can’t confirm that this is who the person is, but it looked a whole hell of a lot like Stryfe.  If you’re not familiar with Stryfe, he’s Cable’s clone and while Apocalypse was Cable’s nemesis in the future, Stryfe was his nemesis in the present day (or the 90’s which is when he was a major player in the X books).  He was the driving force behind the X-Cutioners Song crossover event WAY, WAY, WAY back in the early 90’s and was also the creator of the deadly Legacy Virus.  He eventually died but he was last seen, somehow alive at the end of the Messiah War event, being carted off to be the next host body for Apocalypse.  So if the person we saw in Issue #2 was indeed Stryfe, then Cable is faced with not only his return, but also that of Apocalypse as well if all went according to plan.  Hey, here’s a suggestion, LET’S DEAL WITH THAT STORYLINE!!!  I realize they’re trying to build the tension in the story, but that’s a pretty big red herring to leave out there and then not discuss in the next issue.  The main characters’ long dead arch-nemeses are back and possibly inhabiting the same body AND I NEED TO KNOW MORE!!!

This book is frustrating in that it’s inconsistent.  Issue #1 was so-so, but Issue #2 really stepped it up, but issue three is back to being just so-so.  I want to dump this, but there’s still the potential that this story can pay off.  I’m at a crossroads on this one Evil Geeks, so we may or may not be back with a review of Issue #4.  One this is certain though: We will be back with a brand spankin’ new Evil Geek Book Report in the near future!  It’s so close, you don’t even need Cable’s soothsaying abilities to see it coming!


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About C-Mart

A true Marvel Zombie, die-hard George Romero fan, Star Wars addict, Whovian, and life-long gamer. I make with the Tweets @CMart0979

Posted on January 27, 2013, in COMICS!, Evil Geek Book Report, Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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