Evil Geek Book Report – All-New X-Men #6

Here we go again.


The three digit numbering system seems almost sarcastic… what are the odds that Marvel will let any of these series hits #50, let alone #100, without being renumbered again?

Marvel has been publishing X-Men comics like they’re going out of style, when in fact they went out of style 15 years ago. Here’s what’s happened so far in a nutshell:

Issue One – Cyclops, having been busted out of jail by Magneto and Magick, goes on a recruitment drive for his new X-Men team. Beast, hoping he can get teenage Cyclops to see the error of his ways, goes back in time in hopes of recruiting the original X-Men, complete with those cute little uniforms.

Issue Two – Beast convinces the original team to come back to the present day with him, and upon their arrival he immediately falls into an unexplained coma. They young X-Men, after catching a glimpse of what’s become of the mutant community, steal the Blackbird to go after modern-day Cyclops.

Issue Three – Modern Cyclops and friends set up base at the ol’ Weapon X mutant torturing facilities and bust Emma Frost out of the joint. They all kind of realize that they’re dicks, and it’s revealed that they have lost fine control over their powers. The young X-Men show up, none too pleased with Big Cyclop’s murderous track record.

Issue Four – The two teams of X-Men face off, no one is seriously injured and there are no lasting repercussions. Magneto throws a bike at Iceman and Angel

Issue Five – Young Beast and Marvel Girl hang out in Big Beast’s psyche with him and figure out a way to stabilize his mutation. He walks out of the operating room a far more gorilla-like creature than ever before.

allnew wolvie stab

Guest artist David Marquez hides Logan’s wang with the skill of a young Barry Windsor-Smith!

So, aside from the awesome cover, Stuart Immonen doesn’t handle the art chores on this issue. Instead, relative newcomer David Marquez knocks it out of the park with a slightly more realistic take than I’m used to seeing in his art. I’m looking forward to seeing his star rise at Marvel, and if they know what they’re doing they’ll throw him on a high profile book as the regular artist. However, whether or not Marvel knows what they are doing is the subject of much debate. Above, we see a dream sequence where Jean, overwhelmed with the dangers of the era to which she’s traveled, imagines being caught in the crossfire of a fight between Cyclops and Wolverine. Now, the fact that Cyclops is totally clothed and Wolverine is naked as a jaybird struck me as a clever subconscious manifestation of their ever-present love triangle. Tension between Logan and Scott has only been heightened since Jean’s most recent death.

allnew cyclops bike

Real-life Cyclopses, lacking depth perception, are warned against motorcycle operation.

Back in the waking world, Scott is a bit uneasy with how much the campus hates him, so he wanders around the grounds on his own for a bit. In a nice little reversal of the X-Men film franchise trope, Cyclops steals Wolverine’s ride to check out Salem Center. Wolverine, who famously can hear a mouse piss on a cotton ball at 300 yards, immediately notices and gives chase after Cyclops. He catches up with him in town and takes out his pent-up aggression toward modern Cyclops on his teenage counterpart. It does not work out terribly well for him.

allnew blast

Even when your mutant power is being able to take an ass-kicking, getting blasted 20 feet into the air on a weekly basis has to get old.

Back at the school, the two Warrens finally cross paths and really hit it off. I suppose modern-day Warren is sort of happy to see his more innocent self, before the metal wings, the blue skin, and the whole living in servitude of an ancient mutant tyrant business.

allnew angelsIt’s nice to see modern Angel get to be happy for a change, it’s been fashionable to have him be miserable for the last 25 years or so, so I think the guy could use a break. Although, he is a handsome millionaire who can fly. Actually, you know what? Fuck Angel.

We see Kitty realize that, like it or not, she’s going to end up being the leader of this group of X-Men. I love the idea that she has to train her own teachers. Welcome to Paradox City, Population: Me!

The ending of this issue reveals the next villain to be faced by our quintet of castaways in time: Mystique. I sure do hope we’re gonna see an actual Brotherhood of Mutants again, it’s been a long time since they’ve been featured in a non-sucky capacity.

allnew mystique

Is that skull decorative, or part of her head? If it’s the latter, I find it odd that she just wears it around the house.

This issue is definitely starting to accelerate this series, and in an exciting direction no less. Bendis is finally getting comfortable writing the X-Men after spending a decade on the Avengers, and I’m very interested to see where he takes them.

To Me, My Evil Geeks!

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Posted on January 18, 2013, in COMICS!, Evil Geek Book Report, Reviews and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. When were any of the original X-Men Kitty’s teachers? I mean… Cyclops was in the group when she was a teenager, but mostly she trained one-on-one with the Professor, or with the group in the Danger Room.

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