Meet the Vault Hunters!!: Or How I Lost 150 Hours Of My Life Part 1

I love loot. Seriously. Almost as much as I love getting XP. There is rarely a feeling as good as seeing that xp bar go up and up and up until finally spilling over and granting you that new number. A number that essentially means nothing and everything all at once. It’s a testament to my constant need of virtual progression and accomplishment. Rarely do i get the same delight in the real world….customer service does not come with XP. I love Borderlands 2 even more than I loved the first one. The new characters, the old characters, the guns, the bandits, Nine-Toes, and the classes. AAAh the classes. It’s what makes or breaks a game like this. Shitty balance and lack of progress/power ups can really dull a game and make it unplayable (I’m looking at you Rogues). However, Gearbox has done a fine job of making sure everything feels good and every class feels like a murder machine. Which brings us to the point of this discussion…THE CLASSES!!! We have 4 (5 with the dlc) new classes to mess around with. I will go into detail on each one (minus the Mechromancer as I have not played as her), and as a bonus provide a track that I think fits well with each character. I will also be including the original Vault Hunters as they are very important to the narrative…and because Brick is the freaking man. So let’s get to it…

Salvador the Gunzerker:


The man with no plan besides to shoot off your face. The first class we have is the Gunzerker. It is the standard kick in the front door and shoot everyone before they even know what happened. My favorite class. With a gun in each hand, the Gunzerker deals fast and heavy damage to foes while caring little for any damage he receives. Stunted in his growth due to steroids, Salvador packs a wallop in what seems like a small package…provocative. Want to dual wield a sniper and shotgun? go right ahead! Rockets and smg? Sure! why not? Salvador can dual wield any gun combo and makes the most out of it. A walking, talking, bullet dispenser with no remorse.

Track: When I think of Salvador, the first song that comes to mind is “Miasma” by The Black Dahlia Murder. A plague of destruction and pestilence that takes over all it sees and refuses to submit. Ruthless, cunning, and insane. When you get to the last 30 or so seconds of the track, look at your screen, look at Salvador, and tell me that scream is not running through his head while he pumps round after round into dirty bandits. So brutal.

Axton the Commando:


Every man needs a friend, and his friend is a rocket spewing, bullet blanketing, field clearing turret. Axton is a deadly force on his own, but combined with his turret, he is a force to be reckoned with. After laying down the turret, Axton can pick off enemies in a variety of ways. Also, his turret sends a nuclear shockwave that will decimate anyone near it at higher levels. This is by far one of the best things ever.

Track: I had a tough time with this one, as Axton has a strong bond with his turret. Some might even say unhealthy. For him, I settled on “Two of Hearts” by Stacy Q. Don’t judge me. Play as Axton and then tell me it doesn’t fit perfectly. I’d even go as far as to say that I would not be surprised to see Axton and the turret on a date. I will name her Sandy, and she will be mine forever.

Maya the Siren:


Maya is the siren of this crew and plays a mixture of attack and support. she’s able to heal others, but also has no problem corroding someone’s face into a delicious pudding. She is mage-like in her use of the elements to kill her foes, and is good from medium to short range. Her phaselock is awesome as well. Hate that guy so much you wish you could suspend him in air and drive bullets into him? yeah she can do that…and look good doing so.

Track: For Maya, since I see her as a supportive character, which most games need to understand doesn’t mean useless. Can’t do too much killing if you’re dead, amiright? I constantly hear “Carry on My Wayward Son” by Kansas. Whenever I revived someone or healed them, this was the only thing I could think of, and find it to be way more than appropriate. Just remember to rise above the noise and confusion.

Zer0 as Zer0:


We have our most enigmatic hunter in the form of Zer0. Not much is known about him, except he loves sniper rifles, emoticons, and making you see double with his Deception ability. you have barely enough time to realize you’re attaching an illusion (Michael) before you are gutted. He is the long range fighter with melee capabilities, and he has only 4 fingers on each hand….strange huh?

Track: There is no way to not have this as his theme. “Double Vision” by Foreigner. I don’t think I need to say anything else.

In a bid to keep this from dragging on in one long segment, I will be breaking this up into two parts. Besides, I think the original Vault Hunters deserve their own space just as much as our new Heroes/murderers/treasure hunters. Till next time geeks! Keep your trigger fingers poised and make sure to check those containers. Never know what you’ll find!

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners

About Arthur Harkness

I like things, and things like me back

Posted on December 14, 2012, in Geekology, Video Games and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

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