The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks Top 5 Thunderdome Throwdown: Geek Crushes
We’ve crossed into another month on the calendar devious nerds, so that means it’s time for another installment of The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks Top 5 Thunderdome Throwdown! This month the Evil Geeks are counting down our 5 favorite geek crushes! Everyone’s got at least one person they’re secretly (or not so secretly, whatever works for you) crushing on. The Evil Geeks staff are the only ones brave enough (cough cough, desperate enough, cough…) to shout out our lists to the world! Remember, if you have any ideas for a Top 5 Throwdown you want to see, then drop us a line in the comments section. Here we go:
My picks are in no particular order, I simply cannot choose between my favorite nerdy boys. It’s like choosing between my children…that don’t exist yet because these are all fictional characters and British celebrities…
-5.) Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn- Lord of the Rings. The definition of rugged and manly, the broody loner who ends up being heir to the throne? Yes please. Viggo made him even sexier than I imagined him in the books. Who knew killing orcs would be such a turn on?
-4.) Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester- Supernatural. Demon hunter extraordinaire who single-handedly raised his brother, has literally been to Hell (and Heaven…and Purgatory…) and back and just keeps on fighting, and puts family above all else. I think we have a winner, ladies. Plus this man rocks a leather jacket like no other.
-3.) Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon- The Walking Dead. The devil-may-care outsider who proves he can be an integral part of the group, and he sure looks good with that crossbow. I am certain that just about every Walking Dead fan with a uterus swooned at the sight of him feeding the baby.
-2.) Benedict Cumberbatch. Known mostly for his eccentric portrayal of Sherlock Holmes on BBC’s “Sherlock,” Benedict has a special place in every geek girl’s heart. His deep voice and accent are like chocolate for the ears (if you haven’t heard him do his Alan Rickman impression you simply haven’t lived), and his curly locks are just begging me to run my fingers through it (whether his natural ginger or the dyed dark brown he sports for Sherlock). He is also incredibly charming, and simply adores his fans–who call themselves The Cumberbitches.
-1.) Tom Hiddleston. You know him as Loki in “Thor” and “The Avengers,” I know him as My Future Husband. Hiddles, as his fans on Tumblr lovingly call him, is yet another charming ginger Brit that I can’t get enough of (I’m sensing a pattern here…). He was the best part of the “Thor” movie (well, second-best to Chris Hemsworth’s extremely low-cut jeans, ahem) and he was pretty pimptastic in “The Avengers” with his giant horned helmet and pimp-cane…I mean Tesseract. He also takes his role as Loki very seriously. You win, Hiddles.
Martian Luthor Kang
-5.) Tasha Yar – I haven’t watched much Star Trek. We were a Star Wars family, and I didn’t want to disappoint mater and pater. However, I recently delved into it. I watched all of the key episodes from the original series and enjoyed them, then I took the recommendation of many friends and began to watch the Next Generation. For some reason, I found the most interesting character to be Lieutenant Yar. She was a badass, and most of the other characters weren’t really developed much yet. So, before they had Worf in position on the series, Tasha was the chief of security, she handled the ass-kickings that needed to be dealt out and carried around a weird sexual energy. I mean, she nailed Data, for Christ’s sake! So, I watched the first season almost all the way through the first season… and then they went and killed off Tasha. I never did see anything after that first season.
I think the appeal comes from the fact that the awful late 80s haircut brings me back to my formative years. When I was a tot and starting to understand the birds and the bees, realizing that I preferred looking at women, women with roomy polyester pantsuits and Hilary Clinton haircuts were the zeitgeist.
-4.) Kara Thrace – The re-imagined Battlestar Galactica reused the call sign Starbuck, but assigned it this time to a woman. A very aggressive, frighteningly irresponsible, sexy woman. Katee Sackhoff brought a very charming personality to this intense pilot with a chip on her shoulder, and even through the rough patches in the series’ narrative I always found her stories more interesting than the rest.
-3.) Maggie Greene – When you see a gal swinging a machete through a walker’s head and still managing to look swell, there’s something special going on. They generally make it pretty difficult to like the female characters on the Walking Dead, and although she recently had this grumpy little “let my dad die” period, I’m still a fan. She wouldn’t have to be the last woman on Earth in my age group for me to take a shot.
-1.) Lee Meriwether as Catwoman – Meriwether just slightly edges out Newmar as my preferred Catwoman. I watched an awful lot of the 60s Batman series as a child, but I watched the movie a whole hell of a lot more often. And I think Lee Meriwether as Catwoman… especially as Miss Kitka…. had a big impact on my development as a male. Objectively, it’s really a toss-up between Meriwether and Newmar… but leave Eartha Kitt the hell out of it. If we were writing an article about our Top Five Weirdest Goblins, it’d be another story.
-5). Yvonne Craig as Batgirl – If swinging sixties go-go boot wearing girls are you style, Yvonne Craig is up your alley. The original Batgirl from the 60’s Batman TV show, Barbara Gordon has it in spades. A woman sure enough to drive your inner Austin Powers insane.
-4.) Natalie Portman – I could have gone the obvious route and said Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia, especially in the infamous slave metal bikini but in my opinion Natalie Portman is a lot easier on the eyes. I’m not even sure how geeky she truly qualifies as being, but let’s be serious she starred in three Star Wars movies. That’s all the geek cred you need.
-3.) Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy – Well, there’s no question that Emma Stone is beautiful to begin with but she’s a knockout as a blonde. Her school girl outfits alone as the prim and proper Gwen Stacy from the new Amazing Spider-Man movie justify her being on the list.
-2.) Zooey Deschanel – Hipster Buddy Holly glasses or not, she is a nerd at heart. A drop dead, ukulele playing gorgeous nerd, at that.
-1.) Tiffani Amber Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski – I’m not sure if this even counts, but I don’t care. You’ve never met a bigger Saved By The Bell fan than me. She was one of my first crushes as a young boy. Naive, cute, sexy and wholesome. She’s Bayside High School’s greatest asset.
-5.)Amy Pond (Karen Gillan)- How can you not love a fiery red-head? This stubbornly headstrong, Scottish beauty has a knack for getting her way no matter what universe threatening problems happen to be making the mistake of obstructing her path. She’s so tough, that when she married a nigh-immortal Roman Centurion, even HE didn’t really object to people calling him “Mr. Pond”. Until a recent unfortunate encounter with the Weeping Angels Amy was the Doctor’s traveling companion and strangely enough, mother-in-law, on Doctor Who. When she wasn’t travelling through time and space with her husband Rory and the Doctor, she was a model. There isn’t a geek on the planet who wouldn’t kill to be able to get access to the TARDIS, so Amy get’s bonus points for being able to get us on board and for being friends with the smartest man in the universe.
-4.) Morgan Webb – As geeks and gamers, we’re prone to long spells of zoning out in front of the warm glow of a large TV, enveloped in the comforting warmth of our slowly overheating XBox. How many times have you had this gaming coma interrupted because your significant other wants you to “stop ignoring her” or some other bullshit like that? Annoying right? What if your dream girl wanted to curl up in that gaming coma right along side of you whilst giving you a run for your money in a Halo multiplayer match-up? Then you just might have a geek crush on my number 4 pick: Morgan Webb. Morgan is the co-host of G4’s video game show X-Play, so not only does she have a vast knowledge of video games, but she can also probably get you a bunch of cool demos and freebies! She’s definitely the perfect gamer girl.
-3.) Kaylee Frye (Jewel Staite) – If you’re not familiar with Joss Whedon’s Firefly then I suggest you head to your nearest Netflix interface and get cracking. Kaylee is the Serenity’s resident mechanic, who has the amazing ability to keep the ship flying with minimal resources. So let’s see: She’s hot and she has access to and the ability to maintain/repair a really freaking cool spaceship. I think this entry requires no further explanation.
-2.) Alison Haislip – I hate to put Alison at number 2 on my list, because she is a serious contender for my number 1 spot on this list, but she was just edged out by another Alyson. If you’re not familiar with Alison Haislip, she was formerly a host on G4, but she has now moved on to other projects such as NBC’s The Voice, as well as her own internet show 4 Points. In my opinion, Alison is the all around geekdream girl. She’s a gamer, she has a vast amount of geek knowledge, she’s funny, she’s all over geek media and most importantly to me, she’s a die hard New York Giants fan!
-1.) Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan) – Buffy’s sidekick Willow just edged out the victory to take the top spot on my list this month because I think she combines the best of all geek worlds. She’s brainy, she’s nerdy, she has magical super powers, she’s into girls, she’s plays the “good girl” role for the most part, but she is also prone to slipping into Darth Rosenberg mode and kicking ass when she needs to (or maybe, occasionally, trying to slightly… destroy the world, just a little bit) and has a mild case of being a vampire in another reality. She’s geeky, sexy and she can most gruesomely turn someone inside out with a mere wave of her hand; a good/evil beauty like that deserves the top spot. Otherwise, she’ll probably kill us all…
hmmmm….crushes…..hmmmmm…..I just got one lady that has stolen my geek heart…
5,4,3,2, and 1) Barbara Gordon
Seriously…..Babs is awesome! For starters she is hands-down the best Batgirl. She is badass and has personality and that Batwoman broad doesn’t hold a candle to her. In general, she is a badass and a survivor. One of the most chilling moments in Bat-dom is when Barbara Gordon (not Batgirl) opened her front door to see the gruesome grin of the joker and then just….BAM! Shot right in the stomach and through to the spine, left in a pool of her own blood. Now it would be easy to make her a victim, but instead she became Oracle, one of the coolest characters in DC. A cute, badass hacker with a team that could take you down at the drop of a hat, The Birds of Prey! I don’t love the new 52, because they kinda ret-conned Oracle out of the picture, but I can say that I am very happy with the Barbara Gordon Batgirl stories they have been writing. Many people dont take her seriously, but in many ways, she is the glue that holds Batman and Commissioner Gordon together. One of the best Batgirl stories out there starts with her death! In Batman The Animated Series’ “Over The Edge” we see exactly what could go wrong in a world without Batgirl. If you haven’t seen that episode than you haven’t lived so stop what you’re doing and watch that baby right now! 🙂
OK True believers! Until next month…
Evil Geeks Out!
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Posted on November 14, 2012, in Geekology, Top 5 and tagged Alison Haislip, batgirl, Buffy, catwoman, Firefly, G4, Geeks, Jewel Staite, kara thrace, katee sackhoff, Lord Of The Rings, maggie greene, meriwether, Morgan Webb, Movies, nerds, Saved By The Bell, Star Wars, starbuck, The Walking Dead, Willow Rosenberg. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.