30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 7

The Count of Monte Fisto

Bow to your Sensei !

Have you ever read a comic from the 70s?  If so, you’re probably familiar with today’s entry: Count Juan Raphael Dante. And you probably know that if you ever fucked with him or his Dim Mak, you’d go from zero to dead in .5 seconds. He assured everyone who bothered to look at the back of a comic book that he was the Deadliest Man Alive. Why would he make that up?

Dante's Art

Learn how to cripple, maim, or kill for $5 plus 50 cents shipping and handling.

Knowing how to disable any opponent is admittedly a very handy tidbit, but what about handling a woman?  I mean, these were the early days of post-pubescent comic fans, they could use all the help they could get with the fairer sex.  Surely after they had mastered the martial arts, the Count could give them some advice on how to manage their sexual urges and focus the entirety of their chi into the pimp-hand.

Sadly, Dante’s amazing fighting skills could not defeat internal bleeding, and he died shortly after appearing on those aforementioned comic advertisements. However… what are the chances that some super-secret dark magic offshoot of the Black Dragon Fighting Society hasn’t resurrected him in a darkened dojo somewhere to use his skills in their twisted agenda of world domination?  I’d say those odds are worse than yours are of walking away if you cross a master of Dim Mak.

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Posted on November 7, 2012, in Novembeard and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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