30 Days Hath Novembeard – Day 2

Continuing our series of whisker editorials, today’s focus is the King of the Seven Seas! None other than

Okay. Aquaman is a joke. This is not news, and it’s not my personal opinion;  It’s a fact, and it’s one that DC has long been aware of.  They’ve tried a number of things to get folks to take the character more seriously, and recently they seem to have struck gold. Aquaman’s current book is outselling a lot of other series and he’s being depicted as a leader of men instead of a leader of dolphins.  In his solo series he’s clean shaven, in the Justice League he’s got a light scruff.That’s all fine and dandy, but when I was a lad he had a full, glorious beard.

By Poseidon's Beard!

Swim faster, Mera! There is a sale on headbands at Claire’s Boutique!

While I question the logic of growing a beard underwater from a fluid dynamics standpoint, this definitely won Aquaman some bad-ass points in the 90s.  I think most people assumed he couldn’t grow a beard (or pubes) so having him come to the party looking like Chuck Norris showed them a thing or two. And it also gave him an air of regality that was lacking in the past. It was a lot easier to believe he was royalty between the beard and the way he was written in the Grant Morrison JLA series.  So, while the beard doesn’t necessarily make the mer-man, it certainly doesn’t hurt. Plus, the rugged facial hair might give Aquaman the edge over the Sub-Mariner … unless you give Namor a beard, too!

The Scruffy Sovereign of the Seven Seas

How many times do you think Johnny tried that on non-invulnerable homeless men and left nothing but malt liquor-scented ashes?

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Posted on November 2, 2012, in Novembeard and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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