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Monthly Archives: October 2012

So You’ve Decided to Further Ruin a Lucrative Film Franchise…

Greetings and a happy Sunday to all the Evil Geeks out there!  We’ve had a big week as far as disturbing X-Men movie news with the announcement that Matthew Vaughn would not be returning to direct the follow-up to X-Men: First Class.  If that wasn’t bad enough, there’s also some troubling news coming out regarding the other X Gene related movie currently in the works, The Wolverine.

James Mangold, the director of The Wolverine (as well as other films such as Cop Land, Walk the Line, and 3:10 To Yuma) has recently stated in an interview that the movie will take place after the events of the God awful, crap-tacular X-Men: The Last StandMangold has said that the film will focus on Logan coming to terms with the fact that the X-Men are no more.  While this sounds like an interesting concept, I really think Fox and Marvel really missed an opportunity here to erase some past mistakes.

Don’t get me started on this turd-loaf of a movie. Hey Wolvie, your mascara’s running.

What past mistakes you ask? Well basically I’m talking about all of The Last Stand. If you yourself or someone you know happen to be a fan of the X-Men, then chances are when you saw this shit-fest you were blood-spittingly angry. Not only was it a 2 hour movie of Wolverine crying in different locations, the movie also COMPLETELY squandered one of the most powerful storylines in the history of comics: The Dark Phoenix saga. One of the most critically acclaimed and fanboy/fangirl revered stories of all time; a galaxy-spanning epic story about sacrifice for the greater good, is reduced by the supremely incapable hands of Brett Ratner to a poorly done movie about the Government hating mutants and Wolverine wanting to bang Jean Grey but can’t because at first she was married to Cyclops, but then she was evil. If done the right way, how unbelievably incredible would a Dark Phoenix movie be? The most powerful being that ever lived, with the power to destroy the entire universe, forced to fight for her life against the entirety of the Shi’ar Empire with nothing but a handful of mutants at her side? Sounds incredible already doesn’t it? What about that final battle between the X-Men and the Shi’ar Imperial Guard on the Blue Area of the Moon? Scott and Jean’s final stand? There wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house! How mind-bendingly spectacular this all could have been!! Ratner screwed the fans over twice; he gave us a crappy X-Men movie and then he wasted a classic story which could have been filmed in a more suiting manner. Saying that comic fans didn’t respond positively to The Last Stand, would be an understatement since the nerd rage on Earth could probably be felt as far away as on a Shi’ar cruiser circling Alpha Centauri. As far as we geeks are concerned, there are only 2 X-Men movies. Just 2 that’s it, none have been made after X2 (See also the Indiana Jones TRILOGY, I’m not familiar with a 4th movie in that particular series. Never heard of it, so it can’t possibly exist).

Ahhhh what could have been…

 

Given the amount of geek derision heaped upon The Last Stand, Fox and Marvel should have recognized that the new Wolverine movie could have been a chance to pay a little service to the fans and given us something fresh and more authentic to the source material.  Instead it looks like they’re going to double down on the last helping of crap they fed us in hopes that by linking it to the new movie they’ll boost their back catalog Blu-Ray sales. I’m open-minded enough to still hope that The Wolverine could end up being a good movie, but let’s face it;  Fox’s Marvel movies haven’t had the best track record after X2.  I want to believe it’ll be good, but my Spidey sense is detecting an incoming bomb. Ok folks, that’s enough angry fanboy ranting for today!  I have other mediums to judge and deem inferior!

“Jean Grey could have lived to become a god. But it was more important to her that she die…a human.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                -Uatu the Watcher

This post has definitely earned the official “Raging Geek Rant” badge.

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

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Clothes Just Got A Hell Of A Lot Nerdier

You can buy shirts with your favorite comic book heroes and villains, movie covers and album covers but what about novels? Books might truly qualify as the most geekiest, so why wouldn’t you want to advertise them? Out Of Print Clothing has got you covered. They have shirts, old school sweatshirts, ipad and ipod cases, coasters etc. All of which sport the covers of classic literature.

Check out pulp novel and perennial Biff Tannen favorite, The Maltese Falcon:

Want a shirt of the Great Gatsby before they potentially ruin it with the new movie? (I’m on the fence about it. It still has the possibility to be great). Yea, well they got that one too. This sweet ass shirt sports one of the best book covers of all time:

So if you’re looking to get fashionably nerdy, now is the time to check out Out Of Print Clothing.

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

Dust off your Playstation! Dreamworks picks up Need for Speed.

Greetings, nerds! Lady Lumos here, finally emerging from the evil lair with tidings of movie news. I don’t know about you, but I have fond memories of the original Playstation. You know, the big, clunky gray thing that weighed about 50 pounds, on which you played favorites such as Crash Bandicoot? Well, maybe my memory is a bit warped by the fact that I was a 7 year old girl when the console came out. Ah, the 90’s. One of my most frequently rented games from the local Super Video (along with Ecco the Dolphin…don’t lie, that blue whale haunted your dreams, too), was “The Need for Speed.” Which later became “Need for Speed,” making the title much easier to remember, in my opinion. The best part about this racing game, to my pre-tween self, was that the police would actually chase you and give you tickets. Exciting!

Hopefully the new Dreamworks movie will be equally exciting. Follow the cut for more details!

Read the rest of this entry

Guilty Pleasures – Tarantula

I love an underdog. I don’t watch sports, but when I happen to see a game I automatically root against whichever team is the more popular. Maybe I just get off on being contrary, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it. I think it’s the idea that these guys keep getting their asses handed to them but never call it quits. My taste in comic book villains is a great example of this fascination.

A longtime favorite of mine, to whom I was first introduced via a pop-up book, is the Tarantula. I’d inherited the book from one of my older brothers , so it was probably my first real Spider-Man story. And I loved it… but it wasn’t because of the wise-cracking hero. Spider-Man himself was all well and good in my eyes; A young photographer who fought crime in a suit that was for some reason red and blue. But this mustachioed bandit with the accent? This unashamed stereotype of every Spanish-speaking culture, all wrapped in one big racist tortilla. He was, in my 3 year old eyes, Spider-Man’s greatest foe. The way I saw it, he was Peter’s opposite number. Another spider-themed character, but this one was a criminal. And he had knives for shoes.

¡ Ay Dios Mio !

No taint is safe from the kicks of…
¡THE TARANTULA!

For those who aren’t familiar, the Tarantula was a South American mercenary who donned a special pair of boots with pointed tips. These tips were sometimes coated in poison, sometimes electrically charged, but always muy dangerous. He was one of the many characters the Jackal contracted to take down Spider-Man, and failed just as hard as the others. And he spoke comic book Spanish, which means he spoke perfect English but peppered it with Fifth grade Spanish vocabulary words. Problems become “problemas”, every man he meets is a “Señor”, and very becomes “muy” without batting an eye. However, he comes up with some very obscure English words on the spot. His English teacher (presumably the same person who taught Colossus and Nightcrawler) should have made sure they were clear on how to say “goodbye” before teaching them the word “triumph”.

Regards, Gringo.

He’ll surely experience respiratory impairment once he’s submerged in the AGUA.

He was eventually mutated into an actual Tarantula and killed himself, only to have his pointy shoes filled by a successor who was virtually indistinguishable from the original.

Seth Brundle

The Tarantula was turning into a giant bug and committing suicide BEFORE it was cool.

Shortly after that, I learned to read and started devouring the then-current Spider-Man issues. And it was a hell of a time to be into comics. It was David Michelinie’s run on Amazing Spider-Man. Kraven had recently eaten a bullet, Venom had just premiered and the Sinister Six would be reforming not too long after. So, between the guy who was essentially Spider-Man with a mouth and the fella with eight robotic arms, The Tarantula was clearly not the perfect foil to Spidey. That period of Spider-Man comics was packed with great stories and appearances from just about all of his villains. Tarantula did show up once in that era (albeit with a different man beneath the mask) and that was when I realized that he was not the big deal I thought him to be. He was a joke. He was a racist joke in tights. But even if the rest of the world didn’t find a thick accent and spiky loafers as threatening as I did, I soldiered on. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a Tarantula fan.

Adios, Geeks.

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

X-Men Sequel gets a Shake-up!

Morning Geeks!

In a somewhat shocking move, X-Men: First Class director Matthew Vaughn has decided to not return to direct the much anticipated sequel X-Men: Days of Future Past! 2011’s First Class was an interesting take on Marvels Mutants that gave us a young Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr (Magneto) building their team of young mutants. Rather than giving us a film set in modern times, this worked as a period piece of sorts with the backdrop of the 1960’s. Ultimately it was a refreshing look at the X-Men, especially after the god-awful X-Men: The Last Stand and the less than stellar Wolverine Origins.

What do you suppose they are all looking at off frame…Mr Staypuff maybe?


Word on the street is that original X-Men and X2 director Bryan Singer may be considered to replace Vaughn. Singer was involved in First Class as a producer and it appears that Vaughn will stay on in that same role despite not directing the sequel. Vaughn was originally tapped to direct The Last Stand but dropped out last minute which led the way for Brett Ratner to pretty much botch up that franchise, so I really hope that Fox has learned from that mistake and gives us a quality director to help this project.

X-Men: Days of Future Past is supposedly inspired by the story of the same name found in 1981’s Uncanny X-Men 141 & 142. For those of you not in the know, “Days of Future Past” is a real classic by Chris Claremont and John Byrne that was set in an alternate future where mutants are hunted down and killed or put into internment camps. Much like Dark Knight, it was edgy and different and met with critical acclaim. It’s still considered one of the best X-Men stories out there, and I highly recommend picking it up if you’ve never read it!

Stay back Kitty! I’ll take care of Ratner with my ‘Gangnam Style!’


So what do you think is gonna happen?
After seeing how well Avengers did last summer, do you think that Fox realizes the huge money maker they may have here with this franchise? I guess only time will tell.

Always remember….Geeks do it better!
All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

What’s Hanging Around the Evil Lair

STARING CONTEST!!! Dammit…the Kingpin ALWAYS wins!

Hey there Evil Geek Brothers and Sisters! Hope the week is treating you well so far, we’re in the homestretch and the weekend is right around the corner. If you’re anything like the rest of The Brotherhood, you love yourself some cool geek art. Every year, the Evil Lair’s walls get fuller and fuller with the various pieces of geek and nerd art we tend to pick up throughout the year. Pretty soon we’re just going to have to start setting up unecessary walls across the middle of the rooms just so we have more space to display stuff. In memoriam of our ever dwindiling available wall space, I thought I’d take the opportunity to show off the newest additions to the Evil Lair’s Evil Art Gallery:

You ever dealt with a bear toting a giant Sriracha flamethrower? It’s a baaaaadddd scene, man…

This grizzly errr….well, uh grizzly bear comes courtesy of sensational internet comic artist / Nicola Tesla Museum fundraiser Matthew Inman a.k.a. The Oatmeal. If you’re not familiar with the Oatmeal’s absolutely hysterical website, then I recommend you check him out here. You’ll definitely laugh, probably out loud, so it’s worth the time to check it out. This is a print of his Sriracha Bear pic. I had a tough time choosing which print of his I wanted, it was between this and Wookiee Jesus. I wanted the Sriracha Bear print for the Evil Lair’s kitchen, so that’s the one that I decided on. I was fortunate enough to meet Matthew and have him sign the print for me. After I had mentioned to him that I was planning to hang it up in my kitchen, he informed me that he had come across a site on the internet that could turn photos into paintings and that he had a canvass painting of this very same print hanging in his kitchen. He also mentioned that he had an 8 foot Wookiee Jesus in his living room, at which point my mind was blown with awesomeness.

Someday, this is what the Brotherhood of Evil Geeks Halloween party will look like.

This eye-popping piece of artwork was done by Simone Bianchi, who did some great work on Wolverine a few years back . If you’re not familiar with Simone’s work, you can check him out here. As soon as I saw this print featuring all of the Marvel Big Bads, I knew I had to own it. I can just stare at this thing for hours on end. It’s incredibly detailed and downright amazing. Best of all, the print is signed by Bianchi himself and only had a very limited run of only 400, so in a few years this will be a rare collectors piece. Yeah….this beauty is going right over my desk in the Evil Lair.

The last few pieces I bought were all from artist Michael Walsh, check out some of his other art here (I love that drawing of Link!) and here (Sorry, Michael doesn’t have a home page otherwise I would have linked to it, so these are just some places I was able to find his artwork).

PINEAPPLE SURPRISE!!!

I always knew Robin was the bottom in that relationship.

Do you know how much a castle in outer space costs these days?!?!?!

These were WAAYYY to good to pass up, especially at a price of 3 for $20; plus, he signed them all. The Deadpool print is what initially caught my eye and still remains my favorite of the bunch. That’s just a damn fine pic of the Merc With a Mouth! Unfortunately I only had space to hang 2 of the 3, so poor Vic Von Doom has to wait in storage until I get some additional walls.

That about wraps up C-Mart’s Art Round-Up… for now anyway! I’m bound to stumble across some more great artwork at a Con or something in the near future.

As always:

STAY EVIL AND GEEKY, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

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