The Brotherhood of Evil Geeks Superhero Tournament of Champions!
Happy Saturday Evil Geeks! As a kid who among us hasn’t spent a Saturday afternoon setting up our various groups of action figures and engaging in an all out royal rumble? Ninja Turtles would ride in on the Pizza Wagon to assist the G.I. Joes in taking down Cobra in your living room! He-Man guys riding on Voltron lions would square off against the combined might the Decepticons and Autobots! Those battles were always best when friends would come over and throw some of their action figures into the mix also. An entire day would be wasted meticulously setting up vast battle fields, acting out a complex series of skirmishes resulting in an eventual victor standing alone atop a mountain of action figure casualties and discarded accessories. Much fun was had by all until a parental figure would burst in and announce that it was now time to “clean up the god damn mess you made before company comes over!”
Tomorrow night the Brotherhood will be undertaking an endeavor very similar to those old action figure rumbles, The Superhero Tournament of Champions! The tournament was developed by our very own Biff Tannen as a way for us geeks to make use of and show off a lifetime accumulation of useless, nerdy facts. It’s basically the March Madness of our Evil Geek world. The tournament pits characters from various genres and mediums against other characters in a random setting. The characters are seeded according to their level of powers and everyone is placed into a bracket system. For example, you might have a battle between Bowser from Super Mario Brothers and Skeletor from He-Man, duking it out on the deck of the Airship from Final Fantasy 2. You could have Darth Vader going mano a mano with Count Dracula inside Scrooge McDuck’s Money Bin (mental note: we MUST feature that battle in a future tournament). It’s a free-for-all across any universe or continuity you can imagine. The battles are “fought” by way of debate between all players in the room, usually with one rotating person serving as a judge. Once the battle is announced, everyone gets a minute to choose a side, collect their thoughts, and form an argument for your side. After that the battle starts and everyone can make their case for who they think should win the fight. Sometimes it’s a clear-cut winner, other times it’s not so simple. Often times the location of the battle is what decides the winner. Anyone fighting Namor might hope that their battle would take place in the Dune Sea near the Saarlaac Pit, since he’d be powerless in the desert. You wouldn’t want to bet on a character like Angel from the X Men in a battle underground in a sewer. The debate can get heated and rage on for quite a while, but eventually a winner must be chosen. The winner moves on in the bracket, while the loser is shamefully cast out, possibly to be used again in a future tournament. Needless to say over all of the times we’ve played this, we’ve had some strange battles. Past winners of the tournament include Darth Vader, Bowser, and somehow…the Eric Cartman powered A.W.E.S.O.M.-O-4000. It should be noted that Vader dominated his tourney so badly, that there has since been a “No Jedi” rule adopted for future games. Rascist? Maybe a little, but we’re trying to keep these tournaments interesting.
Although we don’t know what the individual battles will be yet for tomorrow nights tournament, we do know who the players will be. This time around we’re going with comic themed characters broken down into 4 separate categories: Non-Powered Humans, Humans Who Acquired Powers, Mutants, and Villains. Here’s the list of who’s in play tomorrow:
Parallax Galactus Dr. Manhattan Thanos Apocalypse Goku The Hulk Thor Silver Surfer Dr. Doom Hellboy
Loki Dr. Strange Green Lantern Namor Iron Man Lex Luthor Sinestro Martian Manhunter Professor X Magneto
Swamp Thing Carnage Batman Spawn Flash War Machine Colossus Wolverine Aquaman Luke Cage Rogue
The Savage Dragon Storm Captain America Spider-Man Beast (furry mode) Ice Man Human Torch Gambit
Deadpool Quicksilver The Joker Nick Fury Bane Rorshach Nightwing Black Widow Green Arrow Hawkeye
The Winter Soldier The Blue Beetle Nite Owl II Falcon Norman Osbourne Sabertooth Dark Beast Beast (original flavor)
The Sentinels Daredevil The Punisher Marv Ghost Rider The Green Hornet
With a pool of talent like that, it is sure to be one hell of a tournament. The locations for each of the matches are being kept under wraps until game time, but there are sure to be some close battles the location of which will probably be the deciding factor. Let us know who you think should win this one, or who should be included next time. Check back with us all next week as we’ll be bringing you the results of each bracket every day, with the winner of the final four to be announced on Friday!