Your Resolution to become Batman!

Afternoon Nerds!

"No Bruce, you bench....I'll bewz!"

“No Bruce, you bench….I’ll bewz!”

We’re still reeling over 2013 here in the Evil Lair and as everyone know, with a New Year comes resolutions to become a New You! Well, one of the most popular resolutions is to either loose weight or get fit and its also the one that gets broken the most. The Health Industry is very much aware of this and you always see sales on gym memberships, diet foods, and exercise equipment for anywhere between 1 to 3 weeks into the new year. As the days go by, the crowded gyms become a little less popular and people unfortunately fall off the wagon and go back to the snacks but it seems that they always have a cabinet of energy bars that will never get eaten, or a treadmill that now becomes an expensive coatrack in their back room. Take it from someone who has been in this position before, motivation is the key to stick with your resolution and to stay motivated and keep you’re resolution here’s an idea for you… Instead of sticking to your resolution of trying to shed 20 lbs or get fit, make your resolution to become Batman! (And you can do it without your parents being gunned down) :)

I realize that it sounds silly, but it really could really work to a point for some people. Last month I was in my local bookstore and came across one of the large-format Batman encyclopedias (Batman: The World of the Dark Knight by by Daniel Wallace) that tend to come out every year a new film is released and they had a page dedicated to it. I read through it and thought to myself…Damn, this could actually work! Check out the images below and you can Train like a Wayne!

Ever wondered what all that Alfred was feeding Bruce all those years? Well, now ya know!

Ever wondered what all that Alfred was feeding Bruce all those years? Well, now ya know!

Along with this intense workout, you will need to find an old retired boxer to beat you up regularly and teach you to fight dirty.  Basically you need either Wildcat or Mickey from Rocky!

Along with this intense workout, you will need to find an old retired boxer to beat you up regularly and teach you to fight dirty. Basically you need either Wildcat or Mickey from Rocky!

Hard work will pay off when you can kick a tree in half! He must'a had that crazy knee brace from DKR on right there...geez!

Hard work will pay off when you can kick a tree in half!
He must’a had that crazy knee brace from DKR on right there…geez!

There it is, you’re step 1 to becoming Batman. Now for step 2 and 3 you will need a ridiculous sum of money and a cave that is infested with flying rats… I’ll leave that up to you! The best part of all this is, by the time you show off you newly fit physique there will definitely be a time when someone asks you how you did it. Simply bring them into a dark corner of the part and simply reply…
I’M BATMAN!!! (With your lips kinda puckered and in your best Christian Bale voice.)

Remember, everyone needs snacks...  Hell, Alfred sneaks these into Master Bruce's utility belt every night!

Remember, everyone needs snacks…Hell, Alfred’s been sneaking these into Master Bruce’s utility belt every night for years!

Later Future Batmen!

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners.

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About Big Evil

"You now have my permission to die."

Posted on January 11, 2013, in Geekology, Rambles, Silliness! and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

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